A Few Moments of Clarity Through the Flurry

Here I sit at 1:14 in the morning, annoyed to no end, freezing my little butt off, and trying to make sense of the 55 thoughts that are currently swirling through my mind. I've decided to write whatever I can pin down out of the flurry.

1. It appears that getting into bed before 10pm causes me to wake up in the middle of the night, such as I am right now. I have settled into a sort of routine that if I go to bed between 10 and 11 I can generally sleep through till 6am now. However, even a moment before 10 - like tonight, when I was in bed at 9:59 - causes my mind to rebel and wakes me up mid-sleep to think about all these "very important" things.

2. I must remember to pay the final $50 of my August speeding ticket or risk having myself taken to court. I paid the $213 ticket by phone a few days after it was due, which resulted in a $50 fine being sent out several days later. I already missed the first date of the second fine being due, and just realized while I was rolling around in bed that it was due (for the second time) by yesterday. Oh, and I can't actually find the paper so that I can call in and pay it *sigh*.

3. The 40" television that graced my living room mere days ago is gone, and I'm stuck watching my miserable 36" until our other new tv gets here next week (please note the sarcasm in watching the "miserable" 36"). I decided that the tv is really something that the husband should decide about, and surprise surprise, he decided that he couldn't live without those extra 6 inches. By this time next week I should have a movie screen in my living room - oh.yay.

4. Work is absolute and total insanity right now. Remember earlier this week when I said that I had lots on my desk and that I loved having so much to do? Well that still stands, but now I, along with Zig, Krista, and our other designer J, have so much to do that each day any one of us seems to be on the verge of hysterics. Of course, this isn't a new thing to any of us, it just doesn't usually happen to all of us at the same time. I see at least one uncontrollable laughing fit/meltdown for all of us in the next two days.

5. I really, really hope to write out my Christmas cards this weekend - I would love to send one to all of you, but I know there is that whole 'giving out your mailing address to crazies on the net' thing to worry about. So, if any of you would like (and I would very much like) you can send me your mailing address, or even your work mailing address to my email, and I would be delighted to send you a card. If you wanna, you can send it to spookygem@hotmail.com

6. I was thinking the other day that being a toilet seat would be one of the absolute worst jobs in the world. I mean, there are a few things worse, but going to work everyday would be literal gag material...ewwwww!

7. I don't think I ever let any of you know what happened with the whole dad disappointment from a few months ago. Things have since been patched up, when he apologized to me for his reaction, and has since made up for it by being extra dad-like and going out of his way to be the guy I know him to be. And in case anyone was wondering - his negative reaction was to me telling him I was pregnant, and if you knew the circumstances of the bad news I had given him earlier in the day (of which I'm not ready to share), you would understand his reaction. But, after tears from me, lots of hugs and him finally saying to me "I love you punkin - how could I not be happy that my baby is having a baby?" I knew we were good again.

8. I can't believe it's almost December - the Christmas panic I usually experience is just about ready to set in.

9. I love, love, love that you've all picked up the name Butterbean when you're writing stuff about the baby! Yesterday one of you even used "Bean" which I thought was hysterical. My in-laws are totally comfortable saying it, and my little brother is always rubbing his tummy and then saying "How's Butterbean?" when I'm home for a visit. My mom just laughs when I refer to the baby that way, but I know it's only a matter of time before my dad uses it.

10. I'm finally feeling a little sleepy again - guess it's time for me to go back to bed and hope that I fall asleep. Goodnight!

I Need Some Advice

This is a call for advice that goes out to everybody - whether you're a parent or not, male or female, I want to hear your thoughts...

I have a girlfriend that is pregnant. In fact, she's only three weeks ahead of me in the baby baking department. She already has a two and a half year old son, and a husband who I love, but who I think is a bit of a suck.
When she was delivering her son, her husband Drew didn't want to be in the room with her, but he insisted that if he had to be there, that he just wanted to stay up near her head and didn't want to have to "see" anything. All was going fine until one of the nurses asked him to hold Tracy's foot while she was pushing (apparently she had to grab something, or leave the room or something like that). Long story short, Drew saw some stuff that traumatized him. He said he refused to be in the room should they ever have another baby.

Now, about a week before I found out I was pregnant Tracy asked me if I would be her coach through labour because she wanted me to be the one in the room with her if Drew refused. I didn't hesitate because I consider it to be an honour, and uh, hellooooo, girl bits are girl bits, and I know what goes on down there.

So here is my dilemma...considering I'll be over 8 months pregnant myself (if she doesn't go in to labour earlier than that) do you really think it's a good idea? I mean, if she has a long labour am I going to be much use or am I going to be totally wiped out from being on my feet? And even though I've seen births before, and my plan is not to be directly at the baby's port of entry, do you think it will freak me out? Maybe so bad that I will decide NOT to give birth to my baby? Obviously I don't have a choice about that - but you know what I mean.

Since she found out I was pregnant she has told Drew that he needs to be in the room with her - but he's freaking out and really doesn't want to. I've offered that if Drew wants to be there for the "pre-pushing" part, then I would come in for the actual labour.

So I need to know - am I crazy for still planning on doing this? I really want to support my friend...but...

So Much To Share...

I have so many little odds and ends to share with you! Nothing terribly exciting, but that's my life these days, so here goes...

1. I did not go on a maternity shop-fest with my mother-in-law this past Friday. They were crazy busy doing shopping of their own and I ended up taking my mom shopping with me, so plans have been made for an alternate date. They are coming in to the city on December 3rd and she has assured me that we will spend exorbitant amounts of money in any shop I choose.

2. My rage at the husband has passed. I am no longer spitting nails over the fact that he went out and purchased a new 40" LCD television and set it up (of course, leaving the other tv in the middle of the living room floor) without me being present. He was a lucky man not to be home when I walked in the door last night.

*Oh, hang on...since I started writing this post he's since called me to say that he's returning it for a 46" tv - for shit's sake!

3. Bruce doesn't have his studded tires on yet. Turns out that his tires are some mystical, god-awful size so they have to be ordered in. The husband is going to Ontario this weekend to have them put on for me, but that does nothing to help my white-knuckled drive back to the city last night. There was about an hour and a half of straight gasping, screaming, swearing and muttering that is burned into my memory. I do love winter, but the winter roads make me near hysterical.

4. I was basically home alone with my mom for the weekend - after some initial bickering we actually got along pretty well (Hallelujah!) and there were many laughing fits to be had. Here is a conversation we had on the way back from visiting my grandparents on Saturday...oh, and you should know that my mom never, ever burps in front of anyone.

Ali: (sniffing to myself...thinking something on this highway really stinks)
Mom: (sniffing)
Ali: (just getting prepared to make a comment about the stink)
Mom: Oh my god! Does that ever stink!
Ali: I know! Did you burp?
Mom: (looking very incredulous) What?!!?
Ali: I said did you burp? It stinks!
Mom: What the hell are you talking about? That's a skunk that stinks!
Ali: What? I thought you burped and I was smelling garlic...
Mom: (laughing, but clearly appalled that I would ever consider she would stink like this) You can't be serious - that is obviously a skunk!
Ali: (now laughing) Well I think it smells like garlic - I though maybe you ate something with garlic this morning!
Mom: When would I have done that? Right after I had my english muffin with Cheez Whiz?
Ali: (laughing even harder) Okay! Sorry! My smells must be screwy!
Mom: (pouting) Well geez...
Ali: Oh mom, fine...you don't stink...

5. There is tons of work on my desk. I'm excited. I love having tons to do. I was also very excited to see Krista this morning - I hugged her after I was here for a few minutes.

6. Surprise! My apartment is in one of the most hideous states of disarray that I have ever seen. I refuse to even post pictures this time; that should give you an idea of what I'm dealing with.

7. Last night I was having nightmares, very very frightening ones. I dreamed that I was back in college, but some people from my life now were there, and there were these other people walking around posing as students that were infecting people with cancer. Right before I woke up I heard this little girl calling for help, and when I found her she was all covered up with a jacket. When I asked her what was wrong she ripped the jacket off and attacked me, but her face was all black and half eaten away. I woke up in a cold sweat, grabbed the husband and shrieked at him to wake up. Then I turned away from him and shoved myself up against him as close as I could get...it's always better to be facing the danger when it comes to get you. I finally fell asleep again while he held my hand and mumbled that I was safe and not to worry.

That's about it for now - hope you all had a fabulous weekend!

Hellllloooooooooo?

He,he - did anyone think I had fallen off the face of the earth? Or are you all used to me ditching out for a day or two every once in a while now?

I just realized when I was checking everyone else's blogs that I hadn't written since Wednesday - bad Ali. But in my defense, I left Thursday night for Ontario - which is where I sit right now...in the basement of my parent's house, shivering away in my mom's office. Holy crappity I am so not ready for winter!

So, since this is dial-up land and I am already on the verge of putting my fist through this slow-ass computer, just a couple things...

1. Happy belated Thanksgiving to all my American lovies!

2. I love Target.

3. My back hurts.

4. Husband, lucky for you I am 3 hours away and my rage is fading little by little. However, be prepared that when I walk in the door Sunday evening I will be ready for a fight. I already know it will be a very short fight - but I need you to "get it" before I can let it go, kay?

5. I do love the husband, really.

6. I'm starting to panic about Christmas.

7. Happy anniversary to Reggie and Gigi!

That's it - I'm out!

xoxo

Loose Sheets

The following is a conversation that took place between the husband and I after crawling into bed on Monday night. We're in the dark, babbling about the events of our days, nearing the time we will drift off to sleep.

A couple of things you need to know to really set the scene:
1. Though I'm trying desperately not to, I sleep on my stomach, which is where I was lying at the time of this conversation.
2. I sleep in the buff.
3. The husband was laying on his back.
4. Our sheets seriously need to be changed.

Husband: Blah, blah, blah work was boring, I amputated a guys leg single-handedly, blah, blah, blah...

Ali: Oooh, wow...

*a moment of silence as we're getting comfy and beginning to relax*

Ali: What the hell!?!? (yelled at the top sheet in exasperation)

Husband: What?

Ali: This sheet has a real attraction to my ass!

Husband: Uh...

Ali: It will not stay away from my butt crack!

Husband: Uh...

Ali: (laughing) We really need to change the sheets, they're too soft and lived in, so they're not laying like they're supposed to!

Husband: You think you've got problems? My ass is full of sheet!

Ali: What!?!?!

Husband: Yeah, this bottom sheet is too loose...

Ali: (incoherent, uncontrollable, screaming laughter)

Husband: (on a roll now) Yeah! My butt is full of fabric!

Ali: Oh my god!! (more laughter) What? (more laughter) Oh my god, stop talking!!!! I can't take it!!!!

This laughter went on so long, and I laughed so hard that it actually turned into a big, giant, sobbing, bawl-fest. It was that funny.

And...as you may have realized, I'm not big on the "changing the sheets every week" idea. Not that I wouldn't love to, but I'm lazy. Needless to say, the sheets have been changed.

Sexy Voices and Serial Killer Look-a-Likes

So yesterday's meeting went well. In the back of my mind I knew it would be fine, but I couldn't help but have those few brief moments of fleeting paranoia.

I guess part of it was my slight embarrassment over having to face the man I had said somewhat inappropriate things to, but the other part of it was that earlier in the week I had sent him the first proof of his new magazine.

New as in from scratch. New as in he either loves it or hates it. New as in if this goes down badly I may just sit at my desk and cry for the rest of the day and most of the next.
But as I walked to the board room to meet him face to face I felt myself calming down, and I strolled in relaxed, introduced myself and made chit chat with him and Zig until the others came in a few moments later. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

He really does have one sexy ass voice, and the fact that he says your name in every sentence is pretty heartwarming, even though with his accent my name comes out more like Elly. No matter, he was nice and charming and he is cute in an "Awww, he's so cute!" kind of way - though I knew what he looked like beforehand.

Oh, and he was very, very happy with the layout of the magazine! He kept talking about the "rubbish" of the one they apparently used to have, and saying how this was so much better. So yay to the team for that, and especially yay to Krista on her excellent design skills!

Thank you John for reminding me to put this part in!

*******************************************************

Today I wore my new sweater. I actually bought it a couple weeks ago but today was the second time I wore it. I was a little hesitant about wearing it again though because last time one of the designers told me it was a Freddy Krueger sweater - and then I spent the day whining that he told me I look like Freddy Krueger. He kept insisting that that was not what he said - but you know girls, we love to misconstrue.


Mind you, with the way I'm looking up and with the hideous pallor of my skin in this picture, I just might look a little more like him than I originally thought. Hmmm...what do you think?

Rest, Relaxation and Clients - Oh My!

This past weekend the husband and I headed down to Ontario for some much needed R&R with our respective parents. Plans have been set in motion for my mom and I to meet up with my in-laws in Bemidji for Black Friday. I'm just excited to go to Target, but my mother-in-law is gung-ho to buy me some maternity clothes. I'm not quite sure how that's going to go down since I've only gained back one pound of the original 12 I lost in my first trimester. But I'm thinking if I humour her and buy a couple pairs of jeans or something she'll probably be happy. She wants to buy me this stuff all out of love, so I'll do my best to pretend I have a pregnancy belly already.

In other news, I was all set to post my Christmas list for this year, but my dad has decided (after much eye-batting, pouting and safety worries put into his head by yours truly) that he will give me part of my present next weekend. He's going to have studded tires put on my car! Yay! To this day I've never been in a car accident (knock on wood) but each year I find the winter driving and icy roads harder and harder to face. So as of next Saturday Bruce will be all decked out with some kickin' new tires - woohoo!

Today I'm back to work, and I must admit that I'm doing much better in the concentration department. However, as Zig mentioned in his post today, we have a big client coming in. This just happens to be one of my clients. He's making an unscheduled stop here on his way from Alberta to Ontario (so it's not like he's going five minutes out of his way - we're talking flights and provinces!) to talk about the current magazine and upcoming issues. And to meet me. Ha!

When we found out this client was "dropping by" Zig laughed when I had a mild stroke. He laughed harder when I told him that the reason I was pankicking is because the first time I had talked to this guy (which was only a few months ago) I had confessed to him that his English accent was one of the sexiest I had ever heard.

FYI - I don't tell just anyone that - but even my boss talks about this guy's voice.

As I have said in the past, I sometimes take advantage of the fact that my clients are predominantly men, from different parts of the world, an average age of 50, and that seem to enjoy dealing with a 27 year old woman.

For the most part I'm safe with the innocent flirting because the chances of me actually meeting these people face to face are slim to none (in a year and a half I've only met two of them). And, as I've also said in the past, I more use this to my advantage when I'm calling to give them bad news - I'm not in hyper-flirt mode permanently.

So me and my big mouth have gotten ourselves into trouble again - my client has already called me once today to ensure I would be here for when he arrives. He'll be here in just under an hour.

Wish me luck.

Procrastination is my Middle Name

During the month of October I experienced a somewhat light workload at the office, nay, a complete and total lack of work. (Just to kill time Krista, Zig and I organized our storage room one day if that gives you an idea of what the month was like.)

This never, ever happens.

Oh sure, I may go a day or two every once in a while where I can twiddle my thumbs, play on the internet, visit with co-workers all day, and lie on my timesheets - but generally it's a pretty rare event.

During that month I remembered something about myself - though I complain and whine when I have tons to do, in actuality I loathe not being busy. It is so boring. I don't do well with boring.

Then November hit and all hell broke loose. I currently have 5 magazines that I'm either working on or will have on my desk over the next week. Whoa.
Usually I like the pressure and urgency, but I think that month of doing diddly-squat really threw a wrench into my ability to concentrate.

For example, just a few moments ago I realized that I had stopped copy-editing and had been staring off into my office for approximately 20 minutes. So when I came to, did I get back to business and wrap up this editorial? Nope. I walked to the doorway of my co-workers office and yelled "I'm an ogre...Raaahhhhhhhhhh!" while stomping my feet in these big huge, sumo like steps, like Donkey does to Shrek in the second movie. Then I laughed. Then when I heard Krista down the hall laughing at me I went down there, stood in her doorway and laughed some more. Then I went and told Zig his German music makes me crazy. Then I went pee. Then I came back in my office and twirled around in my chair for a moment, then checked my email, then decided to write this post.

I've been doing this kind of weird, procrastination related nonsense for the past two weeks. I wonder how long it will take before everyone realizes that the hold-up for all of our current publications is me?

Aka: that ogre girl that is always laughing and screaming at everyone.

Okay, Okay, Football is Fun - I Just Forgot

On Sunday I went with the husband to watch his CFL team - the Winnipeg Blue Bombers - play the game that would determine if they would continue in their pursuit of the Grey Cup (the Canadian equivalent of the Superbowl).

I usually make a stink when I have to go to football games because I always seem to forget how much fun they are. But really, I enjoy watching the games, I understand football, and when the guy beside you is literally vibrating with excitement just to be there, it's hard not to get caught up in it all (just look at his happy face!).

I think it was somewhere during the third quarter that I started praying. Yes, praying. For a football game. Believe me, I'm as shocked as you are.

You'd think I was a die-hard Bomber fan or something, or had a substantial wager hanging in the balance. But no, it was more that I thought the boys deserved it, and that I was caught up in the excitement - but mostly, I wanted the husband to be happy.

That man can sport a bad mood over football for much, much longer than should be reasonably acceptable. And before the second quarter was over I could see his jaw beginning to set, and see the irritation on his face...well, that, and he was spewing curse words like he only had those four hours to use them, so I knew that if I was to avoid a week of misery, this game would have to make a turnaround.

It was nail-biting and heart stopping right to the literal end, when the Bombers won by two points in the last 5 seconds of the game. Now the husband's beloved football team are still in the picture for winning the Grey Cup and I have a happy husband. Thank god.

Dear MTS,

My husband and I have been customers of yours since me moved to the province of Manitoba just over six years ago. Over the course of this time we have upgraded from our telephone service, and have added our television service and internet as well. Essentially, you have the privilege of having us for customers for three of our utilities - which, according to my calculations, is a pretty good ratio for you. Each month I pay our bill, and as far as I know, we are in good standing with you as a company.

However, I must make a point about the ridiculousness of your billing and customer service department.

Each month our bill comes addressed to my husband. No problem - ordinarily I could care less if my name is on the paperwork. My problem is with the fact that if I should ever have a question regarding a bill or our service and call your customer service line, I am told repeatedly that I can't be helped. That is, I'm told this if I ever get through your ridiculous wait time.

Side Note: Perhaps if the minimum waiting time is 25 minutes per call, you should invest in a few more telephone operators...what with you being a telephone company and all.

Back to my point; I am told that I can't be helped because I am not listed as a customer. As in, because my first name isn't listed in your computer system I am not allowed to ask questions. For the most part I'm calling to ask if my last payment was received, or why I have a $75 charge to Kuala Lumpur, not if you can give me someone's home address or billing number. And even if I was asking for someone's billing number, just what is it you think I might do with it? Something wild, like, oh I don't know, pay a bill?

Well, I have a list of questions and points for you anyways...

1. Why, after 6 years, and being asked to have my name added to the bill for this very reason, have you not added me yet?

2. Why can't you answer my questions? It's not like I'm asking for any particularly private information. All you have on file are people's names, addresses and phone numbers anyways.

3. If I was a creepy stalker all I would have to do is look in the phone book (which you, as a company put out, by the way) and see where it says C & A Blogger to find my phone number and exact address.

4. If I'm worthy of being listed in your white pages, why am I not worthy of being listed on our bill?

Here's the thing, MTS, I pay the bills. Not my husband. I suggest that you take my letter seriously and re-think adding my name to the bills. Keep in mind there is more than one provider for television and internet in this province, and using my cell phone as my primary means of contact is of no worry to me.

Sincerely, Ali
aka That huffy chick who talks in very sarcastic tones.


*MTS stands for Manitoba Telephone Services or Systems, or some crap like that.

Emotional Roller-Coaster Ride Anyone?

So, the emotions have been running pretty high lately. Lots of ups and downs, and when they come...they are severe. And they hit like those stupid commercials for V8 - you know the ones where people don't eat their vegetables and then someone smacks them right in the head? It's kind of like that.

Case #1
Yesterday while I was going through the drive-thru of Tim Horton's I was surprised to see that my usual chickie was not working the window. Instead there was another woman. She had to hand me a biscuit, my coffee, and my change - but because she felt like she was in such a hurry she was holding one arm out the window with my coffee, while stretched behind her trying to get my change - so her coffee arm was waving all over. Then she did the same thing with the biscuit. Then, when I had all my stuff I said "Thank you" in my usual sing-song voice and she just grunted at me.
I drove away and started to cry. I was talking aloud to myself about how she wasn't very nice while I drove. Good Lord. As if that was something to cry about.

Case#2
Bruce has a headlight burned out which is driving me crazy. Zig offered to change it for me if I wanted to buy one today. I stopped at a store called PartSource - as in, they only sell parts. Do you think they had the stupid bulb I needed? No. So I said the f-word a few times while I was standing at the counter and stomped out, like it was the guy behind the counters fault.

I was quite cranky about the bulb though...
Hey PartSource! All you carry is parts!
It's not like a Chevy is a really exotic car make!

Case #3
I want to sleep all the time. If the husband gets into bed before me I am supremely annoyed, but then I am cranky when he suggests we go to bed in the first place. Poor guy - he can't win - though I think we're getting into a bit of a routine with being in bed between 10 and 10:30...oh man, I feel lame just for admitting we have been going to bed that early!

Case #4
But then - just when you think I must be the biggest bitch in the world lately - I have the most hysterical laughing fit you've ever heard, and am supremely happy for a few hours. The picture below is one I actually took by accident earlier when I was laughing about what a dork I was for taking pictures of myself with the angry face.

Oy. Am I as loony as I feel for being so all over the place?

Just Some Stuff...

1. I am incapable of finding Q-tips. Not at my house, but in a store. This dilemma has been plaguing me since I first had to buy my own box (I guess that would have been in college) and has haunted me ever since. It's like the display is temporarily moved to some alternate universe while I am in the store.
I have such a problem finding them that it has become somewhat of a joke in my family. So much so that I actually receive boxes of them as gifts - my husband thinks he's terribly funny. But really! When you walk up and down every single aisle in a drugstore how is it possible not to find them?

2. Um...I forgot my number 2 thing. So why not just move number 3 up into this slot you ask? Well, heh, then you wouldn't know that I had a number 2 thing in the first place. Maybe my number 2 thing will be that I'm kind of weird about that kind of stuff...

3. Tonight's supper was in true Ali fashion. A slice of fresh banana loaf (courtesy of my mother in law), 3 pieces of marble cheese, a small bowl of green olives stuffed with garlic cloves (so stinky, but so delicious), and an industrial sized glass of iced tea. It took me just over an hour to eat it.

4. I am seriously considering hiring someone to come into my apartment while I am out and throw random crap into the garbage, then have it removed before I return home. It seems every time I make a dent getting rid of some junk, I turn around and there is a pile twice the size of the one I just got rid of sitting right behind me.

5. I feel sorry for the men in my life lately. Really, really sorry for them. Over the past week alone 3 of them have been subjected to me dissolving into tears. Only the husband seems to know how to take this - the other 2 panicked. Poor boys, only 6 months to go.

So...he,he...now that the secret's out...

Thank you so much to everyone for all of the happy comments and well wishes about our news! You have no idea how hard it was not to tell you all before now...although I did let it slip to a couple of you...whoops.

I promise that this blog won't turn into me blabbering about all things pregnancy related, but I'm taking today just to talk about it a little more, then I'll be done - for a while.

My due date is May 13th, and there have already been requests to "hold on a few days longer" or "do you think you could push it out a little earlier?" in order to have the baby on someones birthday. Ha! Yeah, I'll get right on that guys - no problem.

There have also already been bets made on the sex of the baby. I say boy, most of the people around me insist girl. And although I've said my while life that I would never find out the sex during an ultrasound I've turned a complete 180 - I want to know! And not so I can decorate the room, or buy certain outfits, but just because I want to.

When I was pregnant last year, the husband and I batted around names to call the baby while it was in utero, but never decided on one. Then, after I lost it I hated the fact that I couldn't put a name to the baby (even a cute, unrealistic one) so pretty much right after I told the husband I was pregnant this time I told him we had to pick a name, pronto. So, we came up with Butterbean. We both think it's cute and when he asks me everyday how Butterbean and I are doing it just sounds right - so Butterbean it is - for now anyways.

I haven't really been feeling any morning sickness, but oh my god! I thought people were exaggerating when they would say how tired they were. Ladies, I do apologize. This baby is kicking my ass! I literally walk in the door after work, crawl into bed, get up to eat something, and then go back to bed for the night. I feel so silly, almost as though people must think I'm faking or something, because I don't look pregnant, so it's almost as though I'm making up the tiredness. Yawn.

The other thing is that I'm having a hard time putting on weight. Not that I should be gaining a ton right now, but I seem to be losing instead. I've lost 12 pounds in the 12 weeks I've been pregnant. My doctor was not too thrilled about that on Monday. I just don't seem to ever feel hungry, and I actually feel like I'm full all the time, so I find it really hard to make myself eat. My doctor told me that if I can't eat much then when I do eat it has to be protein all the time - cheese, meat, eggs - all stuff I love, but yikes! The husband was actually talking to one of the dietitians at the hospital yesterday and she suggested I start mixing skim milk powder into everything I eat, apparently it's pure protein. Eww, we'll see.

So, that's all I've got for now - thank you again for everything each and every one of you has done for us - it could not be appreciated more!