Monday, May 10, 2010

What Constitutes a Shitty Friend?

In a word, I think, it's me.

I am god-awful at keeping up my friendships these days. And keeping up my blogging. And my facebooking. And my laundry...

Oh yeah, that friend thing.

I'm a shitty one.

It's not that I don't want to keep up with my friends, because I do. I miss them. Desperately. And sometimes I sit around and am sad because I really miss a particular person. But do I call them or email them right then and there? No, because I'm an idiot. Or because I think too much time has passed and it will be awkward. Or because I go through a bitchy moment of "Well they haven't called me..."

Most of the time my excuse is that I'm tired. All the time. I've even been to the doctor to try to find out what's wrong. But then, I was too tired to go get the blood work done. And now I'm sick. So the blood work will be off anyways, because of my whacked out white blood cell count. Stupid.

Oh right, I was talking about being a shitty friend.

So I am one. I feel awful all the time, I miss people all the time, but still I do nothing to change it. I don't know why that is.

I really hope I smarten up though, or soon no one will want me.