Back In Love

I have been ignoring Ramona lately.

I know I promised that would never happen, since I made a commitment to myself that if I was going to shell out the cash to pay for her (and all her accessories, which I conveniently forgot about) then I was going to do it. The problem is that I'm too easily bored and really have to fight to stick with something. But I told myself that this was something I would follow through on.

When I first got Ramona I was timid. Very, very timid. I sat there in my first lesson and was so incredibly excited, but was also incredibly scared. Do you know how awkward it feels to hold a guitar? It seems like it would be a natural thing. It's not.

So I sat there holding Ramona, feeling great amounts of discomfort, and thinking that I was crazy for buying her at all. I thought I would never learn to play her. Oh boy. That changed by the end of the first lesson. I was in love. Lazy, but in love.

In my lessons I often get frustrated, saying that I can't do something and wanting to just give up - I'm much like a child that way. However, I am gently scolded and told that yes I can do it - so to smarten up and try it again. And I do. And usually I get it right that time. Then I try to hide my smile by putting my head down and letting my hair fall over my face - but behind my hair I'm grinning, and inside I'm so excited that I got it and thankful that I was pushed to try it again.

Since that first lesson I have been learning to feel comfortable with Ramona, trying desperately to learn how to hold my hand on the neck (I keep bending my wrist into grotesque positions), tune her, play some chords, strum, and now scales. I'm finally not so scared every time I go for a lesson.

Ahem...however, since life has been so crazy lately I haven't had a lesson in a few weeks. I've picked up Ramona on my own maybe 3 times since my last lesson. Bad Ali.

I think that after I hit a certain point of not practicing I almost began to feel like it was too late. That I had forgotten everything I'd learned so far so what was the point of practicing? It's almost like when you lose contact with a friend - after a few months you begin to think that they probably don't really want to talk to you anyways, so why should you pick up the phone? Then before you know it, years have gone by. It was that sort of mentality.

Last night I had a lesson...uh oh.

On the drive to the lesson I was pouty and moody, putting myself into a funk because I didn't want to be caught having not practiced - even though I had already confessed it to my teacher. I nearly cancelled because I was thinking, "eh, there's no point, I'm going to suck anyways". But I didn't (cancel, that is). Miracle of miracles.

But the second I started to strum (albeit with some mistakes and a little awkwardness as first) I began to feel my self-doubt melt away. But I still kept saying things like "I don't remember this - I can't do it", and my teacher just kept giving me this smug little smile, because he knew that I really did remember it, even if I told myself I didn't.

And soon enough the loving, excited feelings came rushing back, and with a little more encouragement from my teacher I quickly remembered what I had learned thus far. How could I have forgotten what an awesome feeling it is play Ramona?

Silly me - I won't let that happen again.

Good Grief...Where Do I Begin?

Life...has been absolutely insane the past month.
I'm surprised I haven't cracked yet. But it still might happen - and if it does...look out!

First there was the wedding. Pure craziness. I was in wedding-ville for 4 days. If I am never a bridesmaid again it will be too soon. No wait, that's not true. I would be a bridesmaid for Monica in a heartbeat.

Then there was the week of holidays I took. It was split between wedding stuff and Monica, so it wasn't really like a holiday at all. I did manage to have a somewhat relaxing day on my last day off though. Good times - oh yeah.

This week at work has been strangely calm. In an eerie sort of way. I've had lots to do but nothing was urgent - very peculiar.

The husband has also been gone since Monday morning on his annual fishing trip with my dad and brother. This has resulted in me going out on a date every night since he left. I caught up on some massive girl time - it was fantastic!

Tomorrow after work I'm heading to Ontario for the long weekend - I'm in need of some family time - plus, you know...husband time :)

Tomorrow morning is my "review" at work. It's a day late (more like 211 days late) and a dollar short (more like about $15,000 short) but it's a review just the same. Zig will be there to "review" me with my boss - uh oh.

And then, in between all of this, is you know...life.
So I apologize for being so bad with my blogging, I'll try hard to get back to every day.

Sometimes Little Brothers Are Awesome

Last night the husband left for the night shift, and said goodbye for the week, as he is finishing his shift this morning and driving straight to Ontario for his fishing trip with my dad and little brother. Actually - younger, but bigger brother, he grew about 6 inches in 4 months.
So after the husband left I had my MSN Messenger open, and was strutting around the apartment, cleaning up, doing laundry and watching tv.
At about 9pm Messenger dinged to let me know someone wanted to chat and it was my brother Matthew. We chatted away about his exams and his little chickie Catharine, and about the fishing trip, then I finally said I had to go because I was in the middle of doing laundry.
He said okay and we began our goodbyes. I've told you before what a cool kid I think my brother is turning out to be, but one thing that makes him cool is that he always tells me he loves me and gives me a kiss before I leave. (It makes up for all the wrestling and ass kicking that goes on when we visit.)
So, not to disappoint, he signed off with this little green alien that smiles and then holds up a sign saying "I love you".
It made me smile right down to my toes. For being 15 - that's pretty cool to me.

Just Some Pics

Nothing too exciting to write about...just a few pictures to share.

This is our new "pet". Every summer we have two rabbits that live in the bushes around our patio - we always say it's the same two, Darren and Tiffany. Lately we have this new guy hanging out, he's very tiny, obviously not very old, and he sprawls out in the sun as if the whole lawn is his. I've named him Evan.
The weather around Winnipeg has been very peculiar this past week. It's been very warm and humid, and is causing tornadoes all over the place. Thursday night I took this picture, it seemed weird to have such a black sky with a rainbow through the middle of it.
While I was driving home the other day...no, let me rephrase that...while I was stranded in the middle of construction galore and incapable drivers while attempting to get home from work last week, I noticed this sign for Kung Fu school. It made me laugh for some reason - maybe because I'm always saying I'm a ninja, and then thinking there was actually a school for it. Maybe some day I will be a teacher there. ;)
This is my new hair. I decided to have it done professionally (since the last two times I have done box dye because I was too impatient to wait for an appointment) so Saturday morning I went in to have it done. I told my hair chickie that I wanted red streaks for something different. This is the end result. I love it. Now I really have to quit slacking with Ramona because this hair makes me even more like a rocker chick.
Last night a group of us went out for a couple drinks to a small pub halfway across the city. As I mentioned before, the weather has been wild lately. While we were inside we started seeing flash after flash of lightning, and trees were whipping around and the lights in the pub kept flickering. I decided to go out and try to get some pictures before the rain started. The lightning was so consistent that it was easy to get a picture of the sky lit up like this.

A Million Little Thoughts

-I'm on a reading kick and have been engrossed in a different book nearly every night.
-My apartment was so clean...now it is back to being a mess.
-I'm feeling a little lost in every aspect of my life lately.
-I'm kicking myself for not calling Reggie on his birthday. I kept saying "I'll do it in a little while" and before I knew it, it was Friday.
-I got my ass kicked at work today - that has been happening a lot lately. Not that I've really been doing anything wrong, it just seems that shit runs downhill...right to where I'm sitting. It sucks.
-I haven't played Ramona in about a week and a half. For some reason I look at her and can not make myself pick her up. I'm going to force myself to do it in about half an hour.
-I'm worried about Krista. She is going through so much crap right now and it makes me sad that her light is not shining as brightly as it could be. I love you Krista - I wish I could make things better for you.
-I bought another plant for my house. I killed Francois, unintentionally of course. I think this new plant will be called Martin - I know the husband likes that name.
-Tomorrow night I'm going out for a few drinks with the group. Sadly, the husband will be working, but Princess has agreed to be my date.
-I have been a bad friend and not returned phone calls and emails to a bunch of my friends. That isn't very nice of me.
-I'm feeling a little defeated in the baby department. I don't know what to do anymore and I'm sick of thinking about it - it's hard not to though.
-I miss Monica. Something fierce.
-It's my dad's birthday tomorrow. He will be 53 years old. I love my daddy.
-I bought a lot of new clothes when I was on holidays this week. Every day is like a fashion show. I even bought a pair of camo shorts, which I swore I would never do. They are the cutest thing.
-Sometimes the husband makes me laugh so hard that my stomach hurts. It's worth the pain though - a big belly laugh always makes me feel better.
-I am having a hard time writing in my blog lately. I keep thinking that every idea is lame and that no one would want to read about it. I'm so dumb sometimes, who cares if no one reads it?
-It's raining right now, but the rain is warm. I want to be outside sitting in the rain, holding hands with someone. Sigh.
-I feel sleepy. I think I will take a nap before Chris gets home from work.
-Have a fabulous weekend everyone and I'm sorry if this blog was too weird.

A Wedding to Remember

This past weekend's wedding festivities were fantastic! I expected the whole thing to be fun, but that I would have to fake a little bit of the fun. Monica and I don't really know the other 6 girls very well so I was worried the camaraderie would be a bit forced.
Thankfully it was very relaxed and lots of fun. Turns out that almost all the other girls are just as hyper and crazy as we are - which meant for three days of laughter, dancing, drinking, tears (happy ones) and happiness.
Monica and I have been getting to hang out a lot, which is great. Janelle (the bride) was surprisingly calm and therefore was much like her usual self - which, when combined with Monica and I, equals one really loud trio of girls.

Janelle and her brother Jeff, practicing some dance moves the night before the wedding.

Monica and I - looking nice and greasy and slightly intoxicated after a long day of decorating on Friday. She'll hate me for posting this picture - but in her defense, she tried to look stupid on purpose.

This is Jeff again with two of the other bridesmaids - Meagan and Lisa.

Friday night we went out to the bar after decorating to burn off some steam. Lucky Jeff, he was the only guy there surrounded by five bridesmaids.

Me in one of the wedding cars on the wedding day. There are other pictures coming, I promise, but most of them are on other people's cameras so I don't have them yet.

Janelle and her dad during their father/daughter dance.

Me and Monica at the head table. A much better picture of her that shows how pretty she really is.

I probably had more fun at this wedding than most others I've been to - the day was great, the dress turned out to be gorgeous, the other girls were lots of fun , Monica was around, Chris was in a fabulous mood, the dj played awesome music and I only sat down for about 3 songs. Any reception that plays that good of music has to be fantastic.

Oh, and I met Ali Kat! I was outside the church after the wedding - saw this girl walk out and was like "I know that girl from somewhere...who is she?" Then it hit me like a bolt of lightning and I walked right up to her and started yapping. Thank god she didn't think I was a lunatic. Though, she might have later on when she saw some of the moves me and the other girls were busting out at the reception.

Sadly, I don't have any pictures of the bride and groom, or of the husband and I to post, but I've already put out a request to other people that were taking pictures. So there will be more.

Now I've got a couple more days off to spend with Monica before she heads back to the Bahamas - but I love you all and can't wait to get back to each of your lives.

Hello Lovies!

I am alive and well, just re-cooperating from the weekend. The wedding is over, it was a fantastic time, I finally had a good sleep and am just about to head out shopping for the day with the Bahama Mama. Tonight I plan on parking my butt in front of the computer to write a long post peppered with pictures from the weekends events.
I miss you and will post soon...I promise John ;)

Ignorance is Bliss...or Maybe It's a Pigsty

So, uh, our apartment is a bit of mess.
Actually..."bit of a mess" might be a "bit" of an understatement.
Essentially we are living in a mess of epic proportions. A mess that would make my mother cringe, my dad tear up, and my mother-in-law switch into full on "operation let me do it because my daughter-in-law is obviously incapable of keeping a clean house".
I should be in panic mode since I am leaving tomorrow afternoon to spend the next 4 days in "Wedding-ville" and this apartment will be hosting three sets of company over the next 6 days. Surprisingly I am calm. For now. Maybe a little too calm. I would bet money that at 10 o'clock tonight I will snap and realize just how messy it is in here - my husband may want a divorce by daybreak.

Disaster Area #1 - the spare bedroom. Our guests won't want to actually sleep in the bed...will they?

Disaster Area #2 - our bedroom. No one else should be sleeping in here - but you never know who may show up and need a place to crash while we're another town away.

Disaster Area #3 - the living room. This may not look so bad...too bad you can't see to the right of the camera.

Disaster Area #4 - my nemesis - the dining room table. I can deal with cleaning everything else, but this...this monstrosity almost keeps me awake at night. It always looks like this. Do you think anyone would notice if I just threw a sheet over the whole thing?


Forget this nonsense - I've decided to do what any self-respecting, tired, hungry, lazy, bored, procrastinating girl would do...

...take a nap.

Do You Doodle?

I've been thinking lately about my doodling habits. I doodle a lot. Part of this has to do with my Gemini-isms, and my inability to do nothing. As I've told you all before I can rarely focus on one thing, there always has to be music blaring, tv on for additional noise, the phone ringing, something on the stove, bills being paid, reading blogs, doing laundry, writing freelance, painting my toenails, reading a book - the more that is going on the more content I am. It makes for some exhausting awake time.

Anyways...the doodling ties into this.

Since I am always in some king of meeting, or on a phone call, or actually writing on paper, I have a lot of opportunities to get in some good doodling.

I seem to always doodle the same things. My name, Chris' name, waves, flowers, hearts, stars, a 3D shape, and if I'm in a room with someone else, I doodle their name too. Usually my name and whoever else I am with get centre stage - our names being the largest. I noticed this earlier today when Zig and I were in our early week production meeting. I sat down across from him, he opened up the files he needed and began asking me for dates of mags we currently have in production. Most of what he needs I know off the top of my head, so I asked him for a different coloured pen, flipped over my schedule and went to town, doodling away while we had our meeting.

The end result was the picture above, and I've been adding to it as the day has progressed. Sometimes I have doodled so much on one piece of paper that I will actually keep the paper because everything looks cool all tied in together.

So, my question is this...do you doodle, and if you do, what do you doodle?

An Easy Weekend

This weekend was pretty relaxing - I spent Friday night with the husband, out for a delicious birthday dinner and to bed early.
Actually...to be more accurate, we went out to The Keg for steak (since I have turned into a complete carnivore again) and I ate so much salad and bread that by the time my actual meal came out it was all I could do to stay awake to force myself to eat it. I was so full and tired that I was curled up in a ball on our bed (while Chris lay beside me reading) by 9:30. Talk about a wild birthday night.
Earlier in the evening when I got home from work there was a bunch of monarchs flitting around the lilac bushes near our apartment. It took me forever to get a couple pictures I actually liked because every time one of them would move I would panic and start screaming, then run a few steps away. That went on for about 15 minutes, until I'd had enough mini heart attacks to last me for the evening (I love butterflies, but I think they were trying to scare me).
Believe it or not - I was actually very close to them...my camera was about a foot away.
LOL - it makes me laugh now to think about how ridiculous I must have looked - walking up to the bush with my camera, focusing, then turning around and squealing as one would move its wings even a tiny bit. Then I would turn around 5 seconds later and walk back over to the bush to do it all over again.

Saturday I drove home to Ontario for my cousin Krista's graduation party. She just finished her teaching degree and can now unleash herself on some poor, unsuspecting students. I say unleash because we are a lot alike - laughing fits and hysterics abound when we are together. She's great fun.
My grandparents and a bunch of other relatives were at the party too - and while I was sitting at the table with my mom, a couple of her siblings and my grandpa, I started to notice my grandpa's hands. He has worked with his hands all his life, and at 80 he still goes out to his shop and fixes and builds things, even though he is blind in one eye and has poor vision in the other.
I leaned over with my camera to take a picture and he pulled his hands away, thinking he was in the way of something else I wanted to take a picture of.
I explained to him that I wanted a picture of his hands because they looked cool. He could not grasp that I would think that, insisting that they just looked old. I assured him that they did not look "old" but instead told a story about what a hard worker he was and the life he had led. He just smiled, patted me on the head and said "alright Alison, do what you will". Afterwards I grabbed his hand and held it for awhile - he told me that was much better than just his old hands.
Tonight I have been practicing Ramona. Or, trying to practice anyways. My guitar is out of tune, and I am too lazy (and impatient) to tune it - and oh dear lord, the C and F chords are the bane of my existence. My little hands simply do not stretch to get either one of those chords cleanly. I can stretch my fingers to reach them, but a nanosecond later they are sliding together and forcing poor Ramona to emit a hideous sound - nowhere near what it should sound like.

I think I will go curl up in bed with a book now - I'm sleepy, the husband is out at baseball, and I'm trying to ignore the disaster area we call home. What better way to do that than to hole myself up at the end of the hall in bed with a good book?

27 Years Ago Today...

I was born, at 6:36pm in a small town in Ontario. My mom tells me that being pregnant with me ruined her body forever. Whoops.

When I look back over the past 27 years (okay, maybe like the last 23 or so - I can't remember much before that) I have to say that I'm delighted with my life thus far. On my 25th birthday I was in tears - at the time I sort of felt like a failure.
In hindsight I know that I was being ridiculous, but I had just always thought that by the time I was 25 I would be an "official" adult and should be at a certain point in my life. At the time I didn't feel like I was there.
Now, 2 years wiser, I can see that if my life had been perfect and "complete" when I was 25 I never would have had anything to work for and be proud of over the past couple years.
So I don't have a house yet...we're working hard on that and hope to have a home of our own by the end of 2007.
I don't have babies yet...once again, working very, very hard on that - but I've come a long way in dealing with this issue. I know that when it is meant to happen, it will.
But do I have a fantastic husband? Hell yes I do.
Amazing family? If you only knew how great they really are.
Fabulous friends? These friends of mine deserve trophies! First for putting up with me at all, and second for being so amazing that it brings a tear to my eye to think of what I've done in my life to deserve each and every one of them.
Great job? I am fulfilled people. This job was created for me, I swear.

So what's not to love about my life? I'm happy with the person I've become - complete with uncontrollably loud laugh, potty mouth, turned up nose and terrible procrastination habits. Because, on the other hand, I've got a happy attitude, an uncontrollably loud laugh, a quick wit and poutiness extraordinaire. And each and every one of you has helped me become the person I am today.

For that I thank you and send a kiss and a big dorky laugh to you all.

So...um...yeah...

I don't have anything particularly exciting to blog about today...just, you know, everyday stuff.


I changed the ringtone on my cell phone this morning from Danke Shoen by Wayne Newton to Back in Black by AC/DC. Don't know what that does for my coolness factor, but I really like both of those songs.

I've been thinking about John and his family a lot. I've been meaning to send an email to see how they are holding up and to let them know I'm thinking about them but my mind is either focused on work or tuned out completely when I'm sitting at my computer.

I'm listening to some new music right now. The band is called The Knife, and they are a brother and sister duo from Sweden. Their music is odd but very intoxicating - I love it.

I keep hearing good things about the movie Music and Lyrics. I wanted to see it the first time I saw it advertised, but lost track of it somehow. I'm going to have to just quit being lazy and go rent it already...but I am soooo lazy lately.

I'm back on the meat craving bandwagon. This morning the husband drove me to work and as we were sitting in line at Tim Horton's for coffee I started fantasizing about supper. He has the day off so I asked him to take some steak out for dinner, but then I said I don't care if we eat Hamburger Helper - I just need some meat. I have been drooling all morning, it's not so attractive.

I finally have no nails left. I was getting nails put on in a salon for the past year and a half - my one real indulgence every month...but, it seems that those nails really impede on my ability to play Ramona with any kind of precision. They have only been gone for a couple days and already I can play my chords clean. But I'm pouting anyways, first of all because it's fun, and second of all because now my nails look so ugly. Boo hoo.

Apparently we got a notice from Hydro today saying that our service would be cut off unless our bill was paid by Saturday. Why must I be such a procrastinator and so scatterbrained when it comes to paying bills? It takes 2 seconds to do it through internet banking and still I won't do it.

I think I may lay out in the sunshine this weekend and try to tan a little. For anyone that has seen me in person, you know that my skin is very pale, like printer paper, and that a tan is very difficult for me to achieve. Usually I will burn bright red, then fade back to white - sigh, that is the only thing I despise about my Irish heritage. But maybe, just maybe, I will be able to rustle up some kind of skin tone - maybe I'll make the jump from milk to cream colour.

The 80's Live!

First off - I must apologize to you all for these terrible pictures...and to Minolta, for using their name in a stream of jaw-dropping swears just moments ago.
My camera has been giving me grief lately, and when I started opening all the photos from this weekend's festivities on my computer, I was shown just how much of a piece of crap this camera is becoming. I've only dropped it like 25 times - it should be hearty enough to take that...
Anyways, despite the lack of evidentiary photos, we had a great time this weekend. The wedding was great, the costumes were great, the music was great - overall, I would say it was...great.
Shona and Cory (the bride and groom) looked fantastic, and it warmed my heart when Cory broke down during his vows and had to take a moment to compose himself. Shona, ever the strong woman, never shed a tear. But there was a laugh when she was repeating her vows to Cory.
The priest spoke one of the vows for her to repeat, and it went along the lines of "I promise to submit to you - blah, blah, blah" so she said it, and then you could see her eyes flick to the priest when she realized what she had just said. I, of course, started to giggle right away, my mom punched me in the leg, then Shona started to laugh, my aunt started laughing behind me, and then finally a couple other people started laughing. As soon as she said "submit" my mind went into the gutter - plus, if you knew Shona at all, you would know that she isn't the type of person to submit to anything. It was quite obvious to everyone else who the perverts in the church were, let's just say that.
She told me after that she didn't remember reading that in the vows when they picked them out, so she was shocked when the words came out of her mouth, but it made for a great break in tension!
The only "bad" part of the day was that the wedding was at 1:30 in the afternoon. That's a long time between wedding and reception. So by just after 2 we were back at my parent's house - my parents, brother, the husband, aunt and uncle, 6 bottles of wine and a stocked liquor cabinet.
My mom wasn't drinking, neither was my brother, Chris was drinking beer - yet we managed to drink 3.5 bottles of wine between my aunt, dad and I. Uh oh.
The husband and I changed into our 80's outfits - then started our trek over to where the reception was being held. We were the first people to walk in the door in 80's clothes - it's a good thing I'd already been drinking for hours - I wasn't plastered, but I wasn't embarrassed, let's just say that.
A couple hours later the place was dotted with people in ridiculous get-ups - one being my friend Tiffany who dug up this bridesmaid dress from 1987. I kept telling her how hot she looked and then she would run her hands down my fishnets and we'd laugh.
The Bahama Mama was there of course since it was her sister that got married, and we would be across the room from each other - hear the opening notes to Tiffani - I think we're alone now, or Culture Club - Karma Chameleon and run laughing for the dance floor, meet up, dance our asses off, talk for a minute, then meet up again for the next fantastic song.
The walk home was interesting to say the least. Picture a drunk, loud and very happy Cyndi Lauper holding hands with an equally intoxicated, giggly Don Johnson, walking through dark baseball diamonds and soccer fields in the middle of the night. We were laughing so hard and continually smashing into each other - my arms are sore today from running into him so many times.
It was great fun though - we so rarely drink, we had so much fun, we staggered home to my parents (though the walk took about 20 minutes instead of 5) and both of us woke up feeling fantastic today.
We spent the day packing our stuff, visiting Chris' mom and visiting at the bride's parents house (which is across the street from my parent's house). A wonderful, relaxed and happy weekend - sigh, what more could a girl ask for?

P.S. - Logziella, Monica is down for 2 weeks, so I promise to take pictures and tell the story of how she became "the Bahama Mama".