NEWSFLASH!!!

My computer has temporarily (I hope!) been taken over by porn stars and men with permanent erections!

Now that I have your attention...I'm serious. Over the last 48 hours my home computer has been infected with some kind of crazy virus which randomly opens porn sites and commercials for viagra. Repeatedly. Without end. A brand new window every time.

This morning I woke up to 51 windows of porn. And though that might sound hot to some of you, I really didn't need to rub the sleep from my eyes to see screen after screen of muffless girls giving each other spankings. Ahem.

The really weird part about this, is that I *just* installed McAfee on my computer two weeks ago. It has been scanning and said that everything is nice and clean, but otherwise, my computer has been unprotected for years. And virus free. Go figure.

And the other part is that it keeps opening these things in Internet Explorer, which nobody uses. I'm a Firefox girl, so what the hell?

I dunno what's going on, but I know that it needs to be fixed. My computer is home all alone, turned off, most likely being infected by wave after wave of STD's by all the dirty porn stars and the men with the permanent erections that are screwing them...

For Shit's Sake

Okay, so now I've got people emailing me, AND Reggie just posted a blog about how our little circle of bloggers is dying out.

And he's right. It sucks. I suck.

I realize I've asked for people not to give up on me about 15 times, but I have to ask one more time...please? I'm starting to realize that life just simply isn't going to slow down. This is just how it goes for the next...50 odd years (Freedom 79 baby, yeah!), so I had better just figure it out.

How about this - if I don't post a proper post tomorrow...um, I owe you...uh...10 bucks. Sound good? Yeah, not so much you say? Well, that's all I got, and to be honest, it would be Monopoly Money (which I really do have, and have even put into birthday cards), so how about I just say I'm going to post, and I do? Deal? Okay good, deal.

The Princess and the Pottery...oh, and ME!!!

Sometime last month - or maybe it started in September, I honestly can't remember now - Princess and I went on a girl date. We went for lunch, then instead of our usual shopping excursion, we went to a pottery studio.
Not the kind where we would play out that sexy scene from Ghost, but the kind where everything is already made for you and you get to pick the piece you like and paint it, then leave it there for the little pottery fairies to fire and glaze and make it shiny for you.
In trying to decide what we would each pick, there was much excitement...which in reality was me running back and forth between shelves going "Oooh, I want this one! No wait, oooh I like this bowl, no no, I like this platter, no..." and Princess calmly picking two things and then deciding on one. She was grownup and lovely about it while I was all over the place, so excited to be doing something creative, since it's been about 2 freaking years!
She decided on a pitcher, while I picked a bowl. A beautiful curved bowl, low on one side with the sides getting higher as it went around, something wonky, like myself. As we set about deciding on designs, we chatted away, catching up on each others lives and being catty about the teeny-boppers that were running the place.

Princess stenciling a butterfly.

Ultimately Princess went with a gardeny sort of theme and I decided to paint koi fish on my bowl...you know...so it would be a "fishbowl." Believe me, I thought that was incredibly clever of me, and laughed about it for much of that first day.

Day 1

Princess posing mid-butterfly.

The koi "fishbowl" - note the atrocity in the bottom right...where one little fish stencil went to die.

Day 2

Painting...and more painting...

Doing three coats of paint for every little thing was tedious...particularly around every little fin. I swore a lot.

We spent something like four hours there that first day...then two or three the next, and finally met up there on the last day to pick up our finished pieces and pose for pictures.

Day 3

Princess' beautiful finished pitcher!

Me posing at floor level, for some ridiculous reason, with my finished fishbowl.

Blame the Bullets on the Cranky

- I had a doctor’s appointment today for 9:30. I got in at 11:15. The walk-in people were getting in ahead of me. Talk about bullshit. I’m not wasting my time making an appointment anymore, what’s the point? The results of the appointment? She thinks I may have a sinus infection, which she says would explain the headache I’ve had for two months. I now have a prescription for something lovely to mess up my system even more. She also says my white blood cells and platelets are still out of whack, and is sending me for more blood work. Story of my life, blood work.

- I promised Princess about two weeks ago that I’d write the post we were each supposed to write about our artsy fartsy date, but I have yet to do that. I suck, I know.

- This is really lame, but one of the reasons I wasn’t posting before now besides being crazy busy? Was because I couldn’t post pictures. I literally had so much shit on my computer that I couldn’t download even one more photo from my camera because there was no disk space. Photoshop wouldn’t even open. So I toddled myself over to best buy and bought an external hard drive that’s 1 terrabyte. People tell me that I should be good with that. (And now here I am posting without a picture. That excuse isn’t holding up so well, is it?)

- My stomach has been aching for days. Kind of burning. I’m wondering if that ulcer I always joke about giving myself has finally come to fruition.

- I’m currently working on the biggest story of my writing career. It’s actually the cover story for a local magazine I write for. It involves me getting to interview the female Manitoban athletes who will be representing Canada at the 2010 Winter Olympics. I did a happy dance when I got this assignment – I may have even screamed. For me – and my resume – this is a BIG deal.

- Does it ever happen to anyone else where you kind of fall out of touch with someone, keep telling yourself you’ll email them, call them, facebook them, twitter them, smoke signal them, etc. but you just never do? Then more and more time goes by with neither of you communicating and suddenly you think it’s been too long and now it would just be awkward and that you should just accept that you’re done knowing that person? Well it happens to me, and in fact is currently happening with about three people. I really need to quit being such a suck.

- I’ve got three care packages open and more or less done for people, sitting on my dining room table right now. One for Reggie and Gigi, one for Sitting in Silence and one for James. I’m wondering if there will be some sort of miracle and perhaps I’ll get them done and sent for Christmas?

- Oh! And I bought my Christmas cards!!! Again, there will need to be some sort of miracle if I’m to get the damn things written and mailed. And you can’t even say “It’s the thought that counts,” because really? That’s baloney. It only counts if someone opens their mail and sees my name wishing them a Merry Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Atheist Day, etc.