Monday, February 16, 2009

Dear Manager of the Place Where I Live,

My husband and I have been living here for going on five years now. We are never late with the rent, we're quiet, we keep to ourselves, and we rarely complain. Only to pay our rent, or to report something needing repair, do we ever show our face in the office.

I appreciate the fact that when our dishwasher broke, you had a new one in the next day. It's also great how when something needs to be fixed, there is usually a guy here within 24 hours. But I have to tell you, sometimes your managerial skills (and the sober face on that bitch who runs the front office) are almost more than I can take.

For instance, when we started asking you when I was pregnant if we could get new carpet in our apartment, it wasn't just for fun. There was a baby on the way, who would surely be rolling around on this 30 year old carpet, and it would have been nice to have something that wasn't nasty, trampled down, vanilla shag.

When you informed us that it simply wasn't going to happen because "There are people that have lived here for 18 years that still don't have new carpet," we decided to suck it up, because we like it here.

We decided that if we could have it professionally cleaned, all would be well. However, that baby is now 9 months old, and you have yet to clean the carpets. When my husband called the other day to mention it yet again, it wasn't very encouraging to hear "That didn't get done? Huh...I'll have to check into that..."

It's been a year and a half asshole, either hire someone else to clean them, or send that bitchy secretary over and I'll put her to work.

When our washing machine started leaking water it took two days for someone to come check into it. By then the water had been cleaned up, and I obviously hadn't done any more laundry, for fear of more water leaking. So when the repair guy said "I don't see any water anywhere," he's lucky I didn't take a wrench to his head.

He was really great about flipping open the lid of the washer and looking inside, then getting down on the ground and looking underneath it (which by the way, I also did, with no training), but when he looked at me and said "Well, it doesn't seem to be leaking now," it was all I could do not to clobber him.

I didn't appreciate the fact that it took two more visits and me hissing at the repair guy "Look, I don't really care if you believe me or not, this thing is leaking water when it runs, so you better figure out how to fix it!" and then my husband finally talking to him for you to take it seriously. I'm a not a dumb girl, and I certainly didn't hallucinate the water.

And now our oven is on the fritz. In about half the time it's supposed to take for something to cook, food is now scorching on the outside, and staying raw in the middle. We've called about this, and two weeks ago you did send someone over. But did you have to send over a 6'5" behemoth, mute, caveman that had my daughter and I cowering?

He messed around in the kitchen for 15 minutes, banging things around and grunting, then walked over to the door and said "There" before slamming it behind him.

Well guess what? It's still not working.

Now it's been over a week since we told you once again that it wasn't working properly, and when we called to remind you about it on Friday you said "He might have been there again, I don't know. Or he might come today, but don't count on it."

Well sir, it's Monday night. Today was a holiday, so I understand Goliath not showing up, but so help me - if he doesn't show up and fix this oven tomorrow...well, let's just say I'll be holding him ransom.

Yours in rental, Ali


Blogger Chief Rock Chef said...

Reminds me of the old days! One place we lived in when Sophie was a baby, we had a chunk of ceiling fall into her cot. If she had been there at the time it would have killed her. Landlord's comment? "Well the rest of it looks safe enough."

I love the way guys don't think that women know about water leaks and stuff like that. Clare gets mad about this. Tells guy "thermostat has gone on the cooker". 30 minutes later guy says "Hey, it's the termostat!" Clare tries to put down the hammer...

3:52 AM  
Blogger Gladys said...

I know Canada is different than here in the land of crazies but is there a board or a regulatory comission you can call?

Also and too, I lived in military housing when my daughter was a baby. You did not get anything fixed or upgraded for at least 5 months. I went and rented my own steam cleaner, cleaned the carpet,then bought a bunch of room sized rugs and laid thm over the existing carpet. It wasn't perfect but it was cleaner.

As for that bitch in the office I hope her dog shits in her shoes!

7:47 PM  
Blogger tz said...

will you be moving any time soon?

10:35 AM  

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