Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Things a 28-Year-Old Shouldn't Feel Guilty About

While I was still living at home, I wasn't allowed to take naps. My mom's reasoning for this was that if I was stupid enough to stay up so late the night before, then I would have to deal with the after affects of feeling crappy the next day. She always maintained that things around the house still needed to get done - and that tired or not, I had responsibilities.
As a result of that, I often struggle with having naps now. I did go through a phase right after I moved in with the husband of napping all the time, but that was almost as a result of post-coital exhaustion. Ahem. Anyways, at this stage in my life, maybe because of Ellery, I often feel incredibly guilty having a nap. I keep thinking that while she's asleep I need to take that time alone to get other things done around the house, because once she's up again I'll be playing with her.

As most of you know, I have terrible eating habits. I often don't eat until suppertime each day, simply because I get busy doing things, and I've been doing it so often, it's almost like I don't even get hungry till suppertime.
Occasionally though, I'll feel hungry in the afternoon, and decide to have a snack. My first thought is always popcorn, because it's fast, easy, and can be eaten whenever I'm walking by and grab a handful.
But each time I think to make it, I go back to my parents teaching me not to eat before meals, because it would "ruin my dinner." And then I feel guilty about making popcorn, because it's more of an after dinner, watching a movie sort of a snack.

Sometimes I am even guilt ridden about buying things for myself, even though they're necessities. For instance, every time I need something like new jeans or new bras, I hem and haw about it until the husband finally says "Look, you need jeans, you need bras, why are you thinking about it? Go buy them!"
It's not that we can't afford for me to buy these things, it's because I keep thinking that money could go towards our savings, or now buying something for Ellery instead.

But one of the most annoying things I feel guilt about, is having a lazy day. You know those days when you just want to hang out in your jammies, watch movies, lay on the couch, eat crappy food, and do nothing?
Yeah, on days I decide to do that, I often spend all that time "doing nothing" thinking about what I should be doing, then eventually caving in and doing 4 loads of laundry and a monster kitchen clean up, just because of the guilt.

The husband, rightly, thinks I'm nuts for feeling guilty about things like this. He keeps saying that I'm an adult, and I can do whatever the hell I want, buy whatever I want, and of course, go for a nap when I want.
This is all a result of the way I was raised though. My parents wanted me to know there are consequences to every action, not to ruin my dinner, that money doesn't grow on trees, and that it's best to be responsible. I get that. But I think they may have taught me too some regards anyways.


Blogger terri said...

Now that you're an adult, you KNOW what the consequences of your actions are. You know when you can afford to take a lazy day or have a nap and when you can't. If you can manage it, do it without guilt!

7:23 PM  
Blogger Sitting in Silence said...

I'm with should not feel gulity...
Having said this, I can see why you do though...

It's a great idea to nap when the baby does. In fact I think everyone should do it. Sleep deprevation has been linked to depression. The house and everthing else can wait.
After all it's going to be there tomorrow and the next day and the day after that as well.
Feeling tired is your bodies way of saying slow down, or you are going to get run down...

I think as mothers we always put the children first and think, " oh I dont really need it, I'll buy the kids a pair of shorts or something ". But truth is you can never have enough to buy things when you have children...
Treat yourself and make it a positive experience and Miss E will grow up following in your shoes...
I treat myself and I have taught my kids how to do it as well...
Never forget the most important person...

You xoxoxox

7:47 PM  
Blogger Chief Rock Chef said...

My wife suffers this sort of guilt - she won't sit down until everything is done, regardless of how tired she is. Me? If I am tired things have to wait!

3:42 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

You should go buy some bras, and some jeans, then have a nap ON TOP of them in bed.

Your mom would be soooo pissed....

10:24 AM  
Blogger Slyde said...

my wife naps constantly.. it drives me batty. the only time i nap is when im sick.

p.s. PLEASE leave me a phone message where you say "aboot"? it would totally crack me up.

p.s. my word ver word is "gastris". can you PLEASE take that shit off already!

11:52 AM  
Blogger said...

*stern look*

Ali, eating once a day?

Five times a day! FIVE!
*holds up a hand full of fingers*

2:42 PM  

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