Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Back to Basics

For the past few months I've been feeling quite unlike myself. So thrilled about the pregnancy, but also sad, although about what I'm not entirely sure. I have been feeling myself slip away, and I know I'm not the only one who has noticed it. It's a very odd feeling to have. Losing yourself within yourself - what a concept.

I know that part of what was bothering me was that I was homesick for my family. So this past Friday, the husband and I packed up and headed out of the city and made our way to our hometown. I promised myself that all I was going to do was hang out with my parents, and relax. I pretty much did just that, but squeezed in a quick visit with one of my girlfriends, the Bahama Mama's mom, my in-laws, and my grandparents.

When I got home from dinner at the in-laws Saturday night, my dad was sitting on the couch waiting for me (he had been at work until then) and gave me one of the best hugs I've ever had. Now that we've worked out those couple issues, he's back to being his usual awesome dad self and he and I were all giddy to see each other. I'm sure it's nauseating to everyone around us, but we genuinely get really excited to hang out together.

Sunday afternoon we dragged everything out from under one of the sets of stairs to find the crib - which of course was packed at the very back. I guess that's what happens to something that hasn't been used in 15 years. It's as beautiful as I remember, and he has promised to bring it into the city sometime in March so that we can set it up in Butterbean's room.

So the weekend in itself was an awesome pick me up - I had been really, really homesick.

Then yesterday, I went to work, made myself as much of an orderly to-do list as anyone could manage in the publishing industry, and got to work. I made a wonderful little dent in the shitload of stuff I have to do, so I left work feeling not too bad.

Plus, I've decided that if I want to get back to being myself, some things have to change. I have to see some of my friends that I've been neglecting due to being "too busy", I have to do some of the things I love to do - go for coffee, go out and take pictures, blog about things other than being pregnant (I know I've gotten really boring with that), play Ramona, go on dates - all that great stuff that makes me happy.

I decided last night too, that there was no point in waiting to put my plan into action, so after the husband left for his night shift I was sitting on the couch thinking "Now what would old Ali have done in this situation?"

It hit me like a bolt of lightning!

So I got up (already in my undies, so half way there) grabbed Ramona, rocked out really badly (basically I was just making crap up since I'm so rusty), then ran over to the computer, cranked some Joan Jett and Michael Jackson as loud as I figured my neighbours would tolerate, and danced like a crazy person in my living room until I collapsed exhausted on the couch.

Then I laughed for 10 minutes because it felt so good to just let loose.

I feel like that was a huge step in getting back to being me, and I feel great this morning because of it. Of course, Butterbean is still very much on my mind (and makes me happy too), so since today marks 29 weeks, I'll leave you with a couple photos showing how my little tiny bump has morphed into my huge baby bump...honestly, by 9 months I'm going to be as big as a house. For now though I seem to be about the size of a condo.
Actually, the husband and I were snapping pictures and we decided to do one of the two of us - can you guess who is who? One of us is sporting a pillow...hmm, can you guess who?

You're right! The one in the Freddy Krueger sweater is me! With a gigantic belly!


Blogger Reggie said...

How wonderful. The pictures made me smile.

5:55 AM  
Blogger Logziella said...

I think you have a very good plan there Ali...doing things that make you happy. I know the feeling of frusteration of watching yourself slip away all too well. I think pregnancy has a tendency to do that for some peole...other glow or something?! I blame it on hormones. I promise you will be the same ole wonderful Ali after Bean makes it's way into the world. You'll be amazed how many things return to normal pretty quickly after that...like your body! LOL!

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the bump pictures!

6:07 AM  
Blogger Rock Chef said...

Good to see you getting back to normal - I sometimes find myself doing the "slipping inside myself" trick and have to slap myself out of it.

Great bump pics, no hiding it now I guess!

6:41 AM  
Anonymous terri said...

You look GREAT! It's good to hear you're doing the things the old Ali would have done. Once motherhood hits, you really have to make an effort not to let it all slip away.

9:53 AM  
Blogger Jahooni said...

i want to be preggers again... you brought it all back to me again.

Enjoy it, what if it were to never happen again? remember that...

1:45 PM  
Blogger Jahooni said...

i said Again like three times... oopsie daisy.

1:46 PM  
Blogger Backpacker momma said...

Beautiful bump, enjoy it!!

2:04 PM  
Blogger Chris said...

I love the bump. Remember, it's Bean's apartment.

P.S. Was that a Bomber jersey that "other" person was wearing? ;)

P.P.S. I'm glad you rockedout, and danced like it was 1999.

4:28 PM  
Blogger Sitting in Silence said...

LMAO @ The freddy Sweater, only you would think of that...

Your look beautiful....

I promise we all feel like that sometimes. I am sure pregnancy hormones make everything acute...

It's such a wonderful and special time in your lives that it tends to bring up all kinds of emotion...

Oh crap am I sounding like a nurse now....?....

I'll knock it off...and for what it's worth, I love reading about the belly and bean...

9:18 PM  

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