Dear Santa,

Hey there jolly man, what's shakin'? Besides your belly I mean.

Let's get right down to business, shall we? I've been naughty this year. Quite naughty.

I realize it's only a few days till Christmas and that it might be a bit late to try and redeem myself, but I figured I'd write a letter to 'fess up to most of it, as a way of wiping the slate clean...especially since I've heard you have the power to "know if I've been bad or good", so we won't kid ourselves and pretend any of this is news to you.

1. I used my fair share of expletives throughout the year. Probably many people's share of expletives.

2. I've told a white lie or two...or three or four or maybe even about 400. Whoops.

3. I've had lustful thoughts for...hey, wait a sec! This isn't confession - strike that one.

4. I've beat up on my younger brother. Though I really don't see how it could possibly be my fault if he sucks at defending himself, he's bigger than me!

5. I forgot to call my grandma on her 80th birthday. I'm actually mad at myself over that one, but I totally made up for it when I finally did remember to call.

6. I've used the power of the pout on helpless victims - even when I didn't really deserve to get my way.

7. Hmm, you know what? I can't really think of anything else I've done that would really be considered naughty. I guess I haven't really been that bad after all - yay me!


Wishing you a safe journey Christmas Eve, Ali



P.S. If you say, happen to remember anything else I might have been naughty for, there will be a bottle of Crown Royal and an envelope with 50 bucks waiting for you by my stocking. Peace out.