Monday, September 10, 2007

McDisgusting for Ali

So, as most of you know, I'm not much of a big eater.
I also generally have a problem with fast food. Not that I don't like it or anything, because for the most part I do. It's just that usually, several bites into a burger or sandwich of some sort I start thinking about the meat, and how it's sort of grey, instead of brown, and how the cheese is all congealed, and the lettuce is slimy, and, well you get the picture, I gross myself out.
Most of the time at lunch if our group heads out, I try to eat something fairly healthy (not always, but most of the time), as I'm a sucker for veggie plates and fruit plates from the underground deli.
However, lately I've been feeling pretty lousy, and most things have been making my stomach churn just at the thought of them, let alone eating them.
It must be known that I loathe deciding where to eat. I'm quite picky, and I hate suggesting places because I'm the sort of person to always eat the same thing, from the same restaurants. I usually say to my co-workers "If you'll just decide where you want to go, I'll go anywhere," which they all know isn't true, though I try to put on a brave face.
It's a long running joke that Zig will suggest Mac.Donalds because he knows how the food there grosses me out. Usually I'll mock-gag and say "Fine, let's go then," though we never end up eating there.
Today the four of us were walking around in the underground trying to decide what to do, and I told them I actually felt like Mac.Donalds. I think there was a little disbelief, but I told them I was serious, and actually got in line there. As I was standing in line I started thinking...and was on the verge of being grossed out...but kept trying to distract myself. I was hungry and for some reason this was what I wanted today.
So I got a Big Mac and a fresca, walked back over to our office, and sat myself down at my desk for what I figured would amount to about 3 or 4 bites before I was feeling sick enough to just pitch my burger into the garbage.
After unpacking it, I opened the box to see....a hole in my burger bun. As if I can't gross myself out enough, now it seems that rats have actually nibbled away at my bun. Ewwww. I decided, eh, who cares - if I'm going to eat this junk anyways, may as well throw in some rat saliva for good measure. So, just as I'm about to take my first bite, my phone rang - it was my boss, needing me to come see her. So I jumped up and went to her office to see what the problem was. I came back a few minutes later, took my first bite, and my phone rang. My boss again, needing to know about a media kit I was working on. So I started using one hand to find what I needed on the computer and apparently shoveled in the burger with my other.
About two minutes later I took a drink, called my boss to let her know what I found out - looked down at my burger...and *gasp* it was gone! The only thing left was some bun and a couple pieces of lettuce.
Apparently all I need to be able to eat this stuff is the power of distraction - though, don't distract me too much, I rather like my veggies and fruit.


Blogger darla said...

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3:46 PM  
Anonymous mother natures daughter said...

Is your underground deli pleasure N&N or Assante? You should try the BLT and Imperial Cookie at Assante next time you (or whoever) decide to eat there. It was my fave when I worked downtown.

8:19 PM  
Blogger Reggie said...

Fresca tastes like ass. Bad ass.

I thought they outlawed Fresca.

I plan to call you tomorrow from the web cam.

8:41 PM  
Blogger Ali said...

I love Fresca, in all it's ass-tasting glory.

9:12 PM  
Blogger Princess of the Universe said...

You can get Fresca at McD's? Who knew?
I'm very proud of you for eating a whole burger.

9:38 PM  
Blogger Rock Chef said...

Ha, I am proud of you!

Now you just need to do some home made bagels...

3:11 AM  
Blogger AaroN said...

Does Fresca count as ass-to-mouth?

8:32 AM  
Blogger Ali said...

AARON!!!! Ewwwwww! Ha,ha...gag, ha,ha!

9:30 AM  
Blogger Rock Chef said...

What is this Fresca stuff anyway?

9:41 AM  
Blogger Ali said...

Hey John, Fresca is sugar free pop. It has a light citrusy taste, kind of like diet lemonade or something.

12:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"grey, instead of brown"????

I don't think I've ever wanted to eat anything "brown" except for desserts.

12:55 PM  

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