Monday, August 07, 2006

Long Time No Blog

For the three or four of you that might actually read this may have been wondering what has happened to me. It's unusual for me to miss three days of posting unless there is a legitimate reason for it. I have a great reason for it - I have been "Ali M. Camper Extraordinaire" for the past 3 days.
The husband and I went camping with another couple we hang out with and we got home late yesterday afternoon. In Canada, today is a Civic Holiday so I'm taking it to post a new blog, clean up all the camping gear, get some more freelance done and catch up on some sleep.
We went to this gorgeous campsite in Manitoba; the sites were beautiful and private, there was a great beach, canoe and paddleboat rentals, a store, mini golf, camp sing-a-longs, real flushing toilets and showers (yay!) and lots of people.
I really do consider myself a true camper - we sleep in tents and don't use electricity and cook most of our food over the campfire; but so help me god, I am terrified of outhouses and I hate not showering for 3 days straight, but I am still a real camper. Most people nowadays sleep in a camper with their tv, playstation, microwave, oven and complete bathroom; those people are not real campers.
We had a great time, I love and miss camping. The only scary time was the first night when we were there - we had done a fair bit of drinking and my husband was snoring loudly beside me - so I poked him and said to shush, I couldn't sleep. He apologized and drifted back to sleep. Thirty seconds later I hear a growl on his side of the tent. Now, this wasn't like a chipmunk that was pissed because we didn't leave the sunflower seeds out - this was a growl like the original killer grizly was 4 feet from my head. I poked hubby again and whispered "wake up, there is a bear outside the tent." His eyes flew open and he sat straight up and I immediately pulled him back down. I hissed at him that it was right beside us and to sshhh. We heard it walk around the front of the tent and then it started growling, I almost peed my sleeping bag. Two seconds later it's on my side of the tent up against me. I started doing the breathing like on the Blair Witch movie and breathed "I'm gonna die" to my husband "how the hell are we gonna get out of here?"
All of a sudden I heard L. yell at her husband J. from across the campsite "Ohmygod, there's something out there." The killer grizly snorted and turned towards their tent and I just kept thinking "shut up, shut up" and thinking that if we stayed quiet it would go away. I was sure we had put all the food away, but right when I thought that I heard plastic tearing and another animal hissing at the first one.
I'm lying beside hubby clutching him so tight that I'm sure I drew blood and I can hear L. telling J. to get up and go see what it is. And then I heard him open their tent...of all the crazy things to do...I was almost crying trying to think how I was going to tell his parents why he was dead. Anyways, he gets out of the tent and there is complete silence. Then I hear him get back in the tent and close the zipper. What the hell? Where is the killer grizly? I can hear L. shrieking incoherently that she's scared and I couldn't make out the rest.
My husband starts telling me that it's okay, the killer grizly is gone and we are all fine, then he's sleeping within 60 seconds. I slept about 20 minutes through the rest of the night. In the morning when we all got up it turns out that J. had left a bag of hotdog buns on the picnic table and that's what the killer grizly was after.
And it also turns out that the killer grizly was actually 2 racoons. I know you're sitting there laughing right now, but the night you wake up in a tent and realize that there is a living, snorting, growling creature up against you when you're in the bush and you aren't scared - you will be my hero.
The killer 'coons were back the next night even though we made sure every speck of food was put away, this time they got into the screen tent and dumped out a couple boxes of non-edible supplies just to make a point.

Anyhoo, here are a few snapshots of us having fun in the bush. Enjoy.

Oh yeah, I should mention the little green skeleton pirate that appears in half of the pictures. His name is Hypoglycemic Hermaphadite Herpes - aka Hypo Hermie - aka Triple H. On the drive out to the lake I was a little hyper and found this thing in the car (it's a Pirates of the Carribean toy from MacDonalds) and decided to name him and make him our weekend mascot. He ended up going with us everywhere and is in most of the pictures - it's funny, even the guys ended up bringing him with us wherever we went. Whatever, we're losers but it's still funny...

Hypo Hermie's first photo op. He looks thrilled to be going to the lake for a weekend of camping with us.

The husband and J. Saturday morning - first time lighting this new Coleman stove (it was pouring outside so we decided to make the eggs and bacon for breakfast on it). The flames were kind of high to begin with - hubby and J. nearly singed their brows off when the flame caught, needless to say L. and I were having a laughing fit behind the camera.

Here's Hypo Hermie passed out after a night of bonfire drinking, poor guy, he was out there passed out while our campsite was being ravaged by killer 'coons. Luckily they didn't get their dirty little rabbie infested paws on him.

Triple H looks pretty happy about being at the lake...good thing he's an excellent swimmer.

J. and L. relaxing with a couple beer after the first swim of the afternoon.

Here's J. charging into the lake; it was freezing cold and he was fearing for his "man pieces" so he decided to just run full tilt into the lake to get it over with quickly. My husband is in the background already submerged, guess he's a little more manly than J.

This campground was so beautiful, we will definitely be back. Here's the hubby crossing one of the bridges on a nature walk.

J. and L. enjoying the drinking game we were playing to get Dronk (as L. would say), she's holding her beer with 2 hands and her eyes are closed because that's part of the game.

Here's Hypo Hermie getting in on all the drinking game action, he was pretty looped when this picture was taken and he had just fallen through one of the cracks in the picnic table. He's not the safest of drunks.


Anonymous Judy said...

I wondered why you had not been blogging. I am Reggie's sister, Judy, and I read your blog every day after reading his. I enjoyed reading about your camping adventure. When I was young we tent camped a lot. Yes, it is quite different than camping in an RV. Now we don't camp anymore but have a houseboat. We are really enjoying that.

3:48 PM  
Blogger Reggie said...

First of all young lady, we were worried sick about you. We have come accustomed to reading about your life daily.

I protest and must ask that you treat us RVers with more respect. We are campers too in our own way. We drink like you, bleed like you but watch TV and blog. We simply have AC and heat. And a clean bathroom! Ha, ha.

Your husband’s ability to sleep is his way of protecting you. He is simply saving his energy to defend you in the event another griz comes along.

We have been attacked countless by killer coons, skunks, buzzard, crows, mosquitoes, etc. while RVing (1st class camping) This all builds character.

Thanks for sharing!

5:01 PM  
Blogger Ali said...

Thanks for all the concern, it's silly how accustomed I've become to sharing my daily life.
I know I gave a few digs at the RV campers - and my husband and I always maintain that we would never become RV campers because "it's just not real camping" - however I must point out that if our financial situation were a little healthier that we would have no problem justifying the RV lifestyle.
But until that day, tenting is the only way to go!

5:30 PM  

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