Reality Check
I've been pretty absent for quite a while now. Something like 4 posts in 2 months or some garbage like that.
I've been engrossed in my own life. In Ellery, work, freelance, family, music, etc. But I've been ignoring some pretty major parts of my life.
That was all brought into check yesterday when I found out that a friend of mine (and ex boss) had passed away from cancer...in July.
I used to work for her right before I came to my current job. She was this amazing, hilarious red-headed goofball. She was married and had a beautiful baby girl who's only three years old. The last time I saw her was when I was eight months pregnant - then I got put on bedrest and had to cancel any more appointments with her.
In January we got a letter from her practice (she was a chiropractor) saying that she had to shut her office down for a while due to illness. I kept thinking it must have been her husband, or one of her parents that was sick. Though I intended to, I never called or emailed or stopped in at her house to check in on her.
I've been thinking about her lately, telling myself I should check in with her, maybe introduce her to Ellery. Then yesterday a co-worker asked me about an obituary she had seen a while back, asked if that was the woman I had worked with before. I checked. It was her. I read her obituary and sobbed at my desk. I'll never forgive myself for being such a goddamned lazy friend. She was 36 years old.
I never said anything about this earlier, but a co-worker (from my current job) passed away from cancer a few weeks ago. He was 35 years old.
Isn't it sad that it took the death of a friend to make me sit back and take stock of my life? To realize that lately anyways, I've missed things in my friend's lives, I'm sure in my family's lives, in all my blogger buddies' lives?
I'm heading home with Ellery tomorrow for the long weekend. I'm hoping to get in some good reflecting time and come back a little less self-involved.
Though I may not have said it lately, I love you all, very much.
I've been engrossed in my own life. In Ellery, work, freelance, family, music, etc. But I've been ignoring some pretty major parts of my life.
That was all brought into check yesterday when I found out that a friend of mine (and ex boss) had passed away from cancer...in July.
I used to work for her right before I came to my current job. She was this amazing, hilarious red-headed goofball. She was married and had a beautiful baby girl who's only three years old. The last time I saw her was when I was eight months pregnant - then I got put on bedrest and had to cancel any more appointments with her.
In January we got a letter from her practice (she was a chiropractor) saying that she had to shut her office down for a while due to illness. I kept thinking it must have been her husband, or one of her parents that was sick. Though I intended to, I never called or emailed or stopped in at her house to check in on her.
I've been thinking about her lately, telling myself I should check in with her, maybe introduce her to Ellery. Then yesterday a co-worker asked me about an obituary she had seen a while back, asked if that was the woman I had worked with before. I checked. It was her. I read her obituary and sobbed at my desk. I'll never forgive myself for being such a goddamned lazy friend. She was 36 years old.
I never said anything about this earlier, but a co-worker (from my current job) passed away from cancer a few weeks ago. He was 35 years old.
Isn't it sad that it took the death of a friend to make me sit back and take stock of my life? To realize that lately anyways, I've missed things in my friend's lives, I'm sure in my family's lives, in all my blogger buddies' lives?
I'm heading home with Ellery tomorrow for the long weekend. I'm hoping to get in some good reflecting time and come back a little less self-involved.
Though I may not have said it lately, I love you all, very much.
posted by Ali at 6:43 AM
6 Comments:
Love you too, Ali.
I think that sort of thing can happen to the best of us. It is so easy for things to slip like that. An old friend of mine died a while back and it was over a year before I knew! Not a good feeling, but you can't spend your entire life chasing everyone you ever knew - it doesn't work like that. I have enough trouble keeping up with some of my own family, never mind friends!
Ali, don't beat yourself up over this. You've had some pretty significant things going on in your life over the past 2 years, and I don't think you can call what's been going on "self involved." You're just trying to get through each day the best you can while taking care of the ones you love. This is a crazy, busy world, and sadly, things like this happen. Your friend would understand.
Love you too.
very nicely said.
Yeah, it's OK Ali, lots of love from across the pond.
I agree with the above posts...You cant beat yourself Ali...It's so hard to keep up with people, with life and everything in general...
xoxoxo
I agree with the above posts...You cant beat yourself Ali...It's so hard to keep up with people, with life and everything in general...
xoxoxo
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