Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Dear Sam Elliott,

I just finished watching Roadhouse for like the 78th time, and as always happens when I watch that movie, I was suddenly reminded of my extreme crush on you.

I know most people watching that movie are either there for the fight scenes, or for Patrick Swayze, but I feel that you, my dear Sam, are simply intoxicating.

Plus, the sex scene Swayze has with Blondie McDoctor is like the least sexy thing I have ever seen, so I just kind of ignore him. Which, I might add, is not an easy feat, since he is in about 98% of the movie.

Anyways...back to
my crush...

See, since the first time I saw you in a movie when I was about 15, I have always thought you were incredibly sexy, and the fact that you always play such genuinely cool characters makes me want to jump your bones. And your voice, eeeeeee! That voice! It makes me weak in the knees!

So out of my own morbid curiosity, I decided to go online to read up a little about you. It seems that you were born in August of 1944 - which would make you 64 years old. Hmm. That's a little older than I was expecting. See, I was born in 1980, which makes me 28 years old. And if my math skills are up to par, that would mean I'm 36 years your junior. Hmm again.

Now I don't mean to be ageist here Sam, but do you see my dilemma? By the time I'm 40 you'll be 76! I think you are an incredible man, however I just don't think I can commit myself to someone so much older. I'm so sorry.

But if you ever want to hang out, or whisper sweet nothings in my ear, then I'm your girl. And actually, I would like to kiss you just once, so if you're up for it...

Until then,



Blogger Wreggie said...

I love anything with Sam Elliot in it. He is by far my favorite cowboy too.

1:44 PM  
Blogger Chris said...

You can have your kiss, then I'll challenge him to a roadhouse fight.
It'll be me putting my hair in a pony-tail this time.
I'll just yell a lot and smoke a carton of cigs so I can sound all gruff too.

3:44 PM  
Blogger terri said...

Hey, I'm only 22 years his junior, so I'll take him. The movie Mask is what sealed the deal for me.

7:22 PM  
Blogger Slyde said...

my favorite part was when the other bartender is banging that girl in the back room and hes just telling her "yeah, your gonna be my regular saturday night thing, baby".

7:46 PM  
Blogger B.E. Earl said...

We watch Roadhouse because it's on.

We ENJOY Roadhouse because of Sam Elliot.

Very simple math.

PS - One of the reasons I grew my hair long is so that I could put it in a top-knot/pony tail like Wade Garrett. Dalton the best cooler in the business? Fuck that! He learned everything he knows from the best. Wade Garrett.

12:23 AM  
Blogger Princess of the Universe said...

Awesome movie - I watch it every time it's on.
And yeah- definitely sexy voice...mmmm...

8:40 AM  
Blogger Chief Rock Chef said...

The best thing about this movie is Jeff Healey, the blind guitarist. He was great.

9:24 AM  
Blogger Gladys said...

Yes I've had a cush on Sam since back in the old days and he made this movie called "Lifeguard" and he was running up and down the beach in his little read swimsuit in all his Samness. Well let's just say I swooned.

9:51 PM  
Blogger Claire said...

OK - I'm 63 and I am perfect for him!! I always wanted to meet him just to see what he was like in real life - total crush on him too!

12:29 PM  

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