Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Man, I Wanna Be You

Over the course of my life, I have occasionally thought about what it would be like to be a man. And before any of you think that I'm on my way to Transsexualtonville, I absolutely am NOT. I love being female, and all my various bits and pieces, thank you very much.

But what I mean, more specifically, is that I have often wondered some things about being a man. For instance:

1. What does sex feel like to you? And more specifically, what does an orgasm feel like to you?

2. Why are you such idiots about many common sense things? For example - why don't you just put your socks in the laundry? It would save you a hell of a lot of attitude from your significant other.

3. How many times is it really necessary to shift your junk around in a day?

4. What is the infatuation with lesbians? I don't think most women have the same infatuation with gay men.

5. How many times do you really think about sex in a day?

Hmm, I'm realizing as I'm typing this that the majority of my questions are sex related...yeah, um, well whatever, I still want to know. So I guess that's it - I want to be a man for one day for the sex, and to find out why some (not all) of you are so mentally challenged by common sense situations.

15 Comments:

Blogger terri said...

I have a very good friend and coworker who is gay. I just love him. I have never consciously had any fantasies about him. He is just a wonderful friend. But twice now... TWICE... I have had dreams about him. I have no idea what that's all about.

And yes.... Men should put their socks in the laundry and also not yell at the kids for not doing homework when they don't HAVE any homework to do. Then their wives will be so much happier.

9:45 PM  
Blogger Teresa Killam said...

i just checked out your blog - i saw your comment on mine - so far, you are cracking me up and i love your postings. you daughter is beautiful, and i do love those highlights. how did you come across www.thetkreport.blogspot.com ? blogs are great as moms need to stick together.

10:17 PM  
Blogger tz said...

hmmm, most your questions about sex..well you're half way to being a man already...hahaha, I crack myself up!

I've wondered about the lesbian thing too..it's not like watching two men kiss is a turn on? I just don't get men....but I happen to love the one I got...

10:17 PM  
Blogger sid said...

Nice questions. I've also always wondered how many times guys think about sex.

2:02 AM  
Blogger Chief Rock Chef said...

Hm, is it really down to me to have a go at this? Here goes...

1. What does sex feel like to you? And more specifically, what does an orgasm feel like to you?

*** That is really difficult to asnwer! It is SEX! Might come back with a better answer later...

2. Why are you such idiots about many common sense things?

*** I really don't know. I have been trained rather well, I think, but still have the odd slip up. It is probably linked to the "can't multi-task" thingy, getting changed and putting dirty stuff in the wash basket is just too complex ;-0

3. How many times is it really necessary to shift your junk around in a day?

*** About the same as the number of times a woman has to adjust her bra, I think!

4. What is the infatuation with lesbians?

*** I think it just appeals to our basest instincts...

5. How many times do you really think about sex in a day?

*** Haven't counted, but think of it as the screen-saver for a man's brain!

3:09 AM  
Blogger Sitting in Silence said...

LMAO....Oh Ali Ali Ali....LMAO

You know I think I should call DH and ash him to answer...I reckon he would only be too happy to add his 2 cents....

Hang on...on second thoughts after I asked him the first question....I dont wanna know anymore....



LMAO

6:08 AM  
Blogger Wreggie said...

We (I) think about sex a lot. I think about it differently now that I am older but still think about sex often. (pausing while my mind wonders about sex) I thought by now at 52 I would have calmed down a bit.

Okay...orgasms vary in intensity due to many factors but they are very location specific and have nothing to do with our brain.

I never got the lesbian thing except I think most men are lesbians trapped in a man's body.

9:28 AM  
Blogger James said...

Hi Truthful Warrior Maiden, here are my answers:

1)Orgasms are great. If you want to REALLY know in great detail email me.

2)we can't do commonsense things because we are thinking about sex instead

3)Men vary in that respect. But action feels better than inaction-so moving stuff around gives us the illusion that we have achieved something.

4)I used to fantasise about that when I was younger (from about 13) but grew out of it.Think it is just that one is good two together must be better. Had a chance to be with 2 girls once and did not take it. STOOPID

5)If in a female-rich environment every few minutes.

10:38 AM  
Blogger Slyde said...

ok, since you asked...

1. What does sex feel like to you? And more specifically, what does an orgasm feel like to you?

thats really hard to answer. Its kinda like the feeling you get from a nice sneeze (but only in my bathing suit area)...

2. Why are you such idiots about many common sense things?

I am way to hot to have to worry about socks and the like. They are just clothes. tomorrow, they will still be clothes. 100 years from now? still clothes. If they are on my floor, they are easier for me to find. i dont put much more thought into them than that..


3. How many times is it really necessary to shift your junk around in a day?

Alot. I'm hung like a horse. it moves around alot in there.

4. What is the infatuation with lesbians? I don't think most women have the same infatuation with gay men.

i think a sexy girl is the most beautiful thing in the world, so seeing 2 of them (without having to endure seeing any guy-parts) just makes my bell ring.

5. How many times do you really think about sex in a day?

honestly, every time i look at any attrative chick, it crosses my mind that i'd like to bang them.

thats frightening, i know. it scares me too.

p.s. $*$U*$(ing word verification!

11:44 AM  
Blogger So@24 said...

1. Like "this is my reason for living"

2. Good question. I can't answer this one. I'll just do it later. BWHAHA

3. 5-6

4. I actually don't get the whole lesbian thing either.

5. Not as often as you'd think.

11:47 AM  
Blogger Princess of the Universe said...

Yay! I managed to make a comment work!
I thought this link was marginally relevant: http://blissfullydomestic.com/wedded-bliss/why-men-take-so-long-to-answer/
xo

12:58 PM  
Blogger Ali said...

Wow. This post turned out to be pretty awesome! Mostly because I didn't actually think the guys would really give me answers :) I was just sort of giving the list of "I want to knows" - but guys, I appreciate the answers, very entertaining :)

Terri - Hmm, very interesting dreams :) And yes! Why don't they get it? Happy wife = happy life!

Teresa - I agree, us moms need to stick together :) I answered your question on your blog earlier, and thanks for the compliments!

TZ - I DO think about sex an awful lot, but yeah, two dudes does NOT get me going :)

Sid - I'm sure it's hundreds.

Rock Chef - I know it's difficult to explain how it feels, that's why I just want to be a guy for a day to experience it! LOL :)

SIS - I knew you'd get a kick out of this :) and ask him!

Wreggie - You rock! And make me laugh :)

James - I might actually email you - watch out! And you turned down two chicks? Eh, I turned down two guys too, but I don't really regret it now...

Slyde - Figures. You're the dirtiest one, and have me laughing the hardest :) And actually, the lesbian thing kind of makes sense now, interesting.
But one more thing - do you only think about sex when you see a hot chick? Or just like, whenever?
Oh, and I LOVE the word verification :) don't you?

SO - Good answer on question 1, but I wanna experience it...especially if it's that good!
And for question 2 - typical ;)

Princess - I read it. It's so right on the money that it's scary :)

12:54 AM  
Blogger Sitting in Silence said...

I so suck...I had to come back and see what they wrote....esp...Slyde...I knew he would give it a good shot...Gotta love that Guy

xoxoxo

11:12 PM  
Blogger Dr Zibbs said...

Everytime I see a sexy lady I wonder about the sex.

5:01 PM  
Blogger Slyde said...

honestly, i think about sex so often that it really doesnt matter if a good looking girl is in front of me or not... if im alone, i can always conjure one up in my head.

Maybe next time i'll conjure you :)

4:50 PM  

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