The Murder and Pillage of Kevin Bacon
Each day at work I would feed him pennies, nickles, dimes and quarters from whatever was left after my daily spending, he was quite the lucky little pig.
Just last week he and I were brainstorming over coffee for ways to bring some extra money in. Soon there will be a baby in this place, and as you know, babies take a lot of money. Kevin kept insisting that he would try to get another job...but really, how much could one little pig contribute to the household, right? It's not like he can move or anything (rumour has it he was in a terrible trough accident years ago and just hasn't been the same since), but he's good for company, and storing my change.
So, imagine my shock when I couldn't find Kevin for a few days! (What with him not being able to move and everything.) I searched high and low - mostly low because he was kind of chubby to get too high - and couldn't find a trace of him! But then...yesterday...in the mail...I got a package. A package of hideous, grotesque images, straight out of an episode of CSI.
If you can't bear to read on I'll understand...
Inside the package was a slide show of my beloved Kevin Bacon - sliced open and murdered for all the shininess of his insides!The husband's first reaction after crying out in horror was to make mention of the fact that the hand pulling out the guts looked surprisingly familiar...to which I quickly told him that nobody we knew could be capable of such carnage!
The final image below was almost more than I could handle. I thought about calling the cops but figured I should just lay low for awhile. After all - there are two other little pigs living here with us - and the last thing I need is to have to worry about their safety.
But, just when I thought there was no hope for any happiness in my life again, after a trip to the bank today I was surprised to see a deposit of $98.50 to Butterbean's bank account!
Silly bank, must have messed up on their deposits again...
RIP Kevin Bacon, you will be missed.