Run!!!
Yesterday the husband and I had a fight of epic proportions.
The only problem was that I don't think he saw the fight coming. Quite understandably mind you, because I didn't really see it coming myself, though I was the one that brought most of it on.
I did what many other people do when they're upset about something...I took a smaller, less significant problem (which was still a problem, don't get me wrong) and developed it into a huge, catastrophic event. All to bring the entire thing around to what was really bothering me, which realistically had nothing to do with the original fight.
It all culminated last night at about 8:30, when after crying for approximately 3 hours (and I don't mean a tear here and there, I mean a heaving, body-wracking sob fest that could have broken records) it finally tumbled out of my mouth, while my husband sat beside me with a bewildered look on his face. Definitely not what he expected from the original fight over him buying some shoes that I told him to wait for his birthday to buy.
We seem to have one of these fights on cue, about every 6 months. And it's always the same situation - me flying off the handle about something stupid, to come full circle (after hours and hours of bullshit) to discuss what's really bothering me. And oddly enough, it usually seems to be something that's been bothering the husband too, he's just a lot less dramatic in expressing it.
Despite my very puffy eyes (man I love getting older and seeing my eyes puffier each time I shed a tear), and a headache that no amount of Tylenol will rid, I'm feeling much better. Seems my bi-annual meltdown has had a positive effect on my marriage, and I'm feeling much less chip-on-my-shoulder-ish.
Besides, the husband knew my flair for the dramatics when he married me...and he also knows that the way I show my emotions sometimes is just because of how strongly I feel about something. And my marriage is definitely one of those things that deserves the dramatics.
Note: I'm worried now that I gave the impression that our marriage is in trouble, which it definitely is NOT.
The only problem was that I don't think he saw the fight coming. Quite understandably mind you, because I didn't really see it coming myself, though I was the one that brought most of it on.
I did what many other people do when they're upset about something...I took a smaller, less significant problem (which was still a problem, don't get me wrong) and developed it into a huge, catastrophic event. All to bring the entire thing around to what was really bothering me, which realistically had nothing to do with the original fight.
It all culminated last night at about 8:30, when after crying for approximately 3 hours (and I don't mean a tear here and there, I mean a heaving, body-wracking sob fest that could have broken records) it finally tumbled out of my mouth, while my husband sat beside me with a bewildered look on his face. Definitely not what he expected from the original fight over him buying some shoes that I told him to wait for his birthday to buy.
We seem to have one of these fights on cue, about every 6 months. And it's always the same situation - me flying off the handle about something stupid, to come full circle (after hours and hours of bullshit) to discuss what's really bothering me. And oddly enough, it usually seems to be something that's been bothering the husband too, he's just a lot less dramatic in expressing it.
Despite my very puffy eyes (man I love getting older and seeing my eyes puffier each time I shed a tear), and a headache that no amount of Tylenol will rid, I'm feeling much better. Seems my bi-annual meltdown has had a positive effect on my marriage, and I'm feeling much less chip-on-my-shoulder-ish.
Besides, the husband knew my flair for the dramatics when he married me...and he also knows that the way I show my emotions sometimes is just because of how strongly I feel about something. And my marriage is definitely one of those things that deserves the dramatics.
Note: I'm worried now that I gave the impression that our marriage is in trouble, which it definitely is NOT.
posted by Ali at 4:08 AM
5 Comments:
Woah, I am so glad we do not have things like that - well at least not twice a year. Probably twice in our entire relationship!
Hope it is all OK now.
We all have those moments. At least you get around to the real issue rather than just circling it again and again and never resolving anything. THAT would suck. I hope you are both ok and less puffy today! :)
I think we all have moments like these...
Hope your feelin better today !
((HUGS))
hehe....
I am no good at conflict, but dear hubby is teaching me I can be mad and talk to him at the same time... I just need to let him know what the big deal is ...LOL! Why is it so hard for us just to spit out what's really bothering us?
And the puffy eyes? Try going to brunch with the in-laws with those "I cried all night" eyes...;)
Hi Ali!!!
Read a few of your recent posts. Glad to see that the baby is healthy. Shame about the job but you will go back to it later right? You have another full time job growing inside you....
You really need to find a way to get to the root of what bothers you without the three hour tearfest to get there..easier said than done though we all get into relationship habits.
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