Friday, March 28, 2008

Conversation Between Myself and a Parking Ticket Man

Wednesday I was having a particularly crappy day. Basically I wanted to kill nearly everyone at work, I was seriously considering ending a friendship over some recent goings on - and without going into any more detail, I had reached my breaking point at 9:14 a.m.
That's when I ran downstairs to where my car was parked to plug my meter. Nine a.m. is when meters start charging, and I knew I was late but was trying to wrap up an "urgent" work matter before I dashed downstairs.

Oh, and as a side note, the ticket dudes very rarely even patrol the little avenue my work is on because it's so tiny, we're the only building on it. Anyways, without further ado...

(me running out the door to my meter which is 20 feet away, I see one of the parking patrol guys with his ticket book out)

Me: Noooooooooo! I'm coming, hang on, I'm sorry!

(he looks up with a total asshole gaze)

Me: Wait! I'm sorry I'm late, I was just trying to finish something...
Him: Sorry (in full asshole mode now as he rips a ticket off his pad)

Me: Aagh!
Him: Well? These meters start charging at 9 you know (said with such attitude I wanted to punch him in his moustachey, wind-burned face)

Me: Yeah, I know (feeling defeated and getting a little attitude myself) I was just trying to get something done that I had a deadline for, and I forgot

Him: Well? They start at 9 (holds out his chubby hand smuggly)

Me: Yeah...I
know (snatching ticket out of his hand and turning on my heel to march back into the building angrily)
Him: Hey! Aren't you going to plug your meter now?

Me: (wheeling back around) Well why the f*ck would I plug my meter now? You just gave me a f*cking ticket!

Him: (mouth dropping open) Well, uh...I...

Me: (turning back around and stomping away angrily) Exactly...

See, once they write you a ticket they can't write you another one the same day, so really, why would I plug my meter?
And I know that guy was just doing his job - the husband used to be one of those guys, and he would tell me all the horror stories about cranky people - but I wasn't that late, and 3 of the 6 meters on our little avenue had no cars parked at them! It's not like I was holding up millions of other people from getting to park there!
Plus, I was genuinely sorry, and I wasn't that late, and I know that he could have given me a warning. The husband used to let people off if they were nice and explained their situation to him, so I know it can be done.

Anyways, when he picked me up for my doctor's appointment yesterday and we were leaving downtown, I saw the same guy writing someone else a ticket a few streets over. The husband remembered him immediately as one of the guys that made it his mission to write as many tickets he possibly could in a day, with no exceptions.

the kind of guy that makes everyone hate the parking patrol.


Blogger Rock Chef said...

Ah we used to have a great guy like that in our town - he was called Hitler because he looked and acted like Hitler!

My mom used to work for a grocers shop and made home deliveries. One house she delivered to was in a no parking zone, but you were allowed to stop for 2 minutes. He used to stand and watch her with his watch out, timing her! Of course he got beaten up a few times, once he was even found tied to a lamp post!

7:04 AM  
Blogger Laura said...

On Wednesday (same day!) the husband and I parked in a small parking lot outside a Subway, ran in and bought subs, and came out to find a ticket on our windshield. We were pissed! There were no signs that we could see about not parking there. WHen we got home we examined the ticket more closely, and luckily it's one of those ones that is from a private company - so we're just not going to pay it. I still understand where you're coming from, though. Those ticket guys are like vultures. Good for you for giving a little attitude back!

7:59 AM  
Blogger mike said...

jeebus h....

I was just thinking to myself as I read this entry "it's probably that guy Chris always talked about."

glad cappy dint take no shit.... hope you're having a much better day today and this weekend :)

2:55 PM  
Anonymous terri said...

I ran into a woman once who was very similar to your guy. I was parked on a street that HAD been plowed, and she didn't think it looked plowed, so she wrote me a ticket anyway. I flipped her off as I walked away and when I went to fight my ticket, I was actually ASKED if I had flipped her off. I remember asking if it made a difference since I was unfairly ticketed for parking on a street that was already plowed. Apparently it didn't matter. I didn't have to pay.

4:09 PM  
Blogger Logziella said...

I can't stand people like THAT! Apparently, being a jerk and writing tickets is the biggest deal in his life at the moment...a sad life I tell you.

You might have a ticket but I guarantee YOU are happier than HE is.

P.S.-I was jumping and clapping when I read that you still didn't plug the meter...LOL...good for you!! You more than paid for that meter with that ticket...why pay more?

3:47 PM  
Anonymous sauerkraut said...

Plug the meter...

I was half expecting the story to continue about you and a over-under Browning shotgun...

Next time, come armed with a cheap washclothe... hand it to the dude and suggest his mother do a better job cleaning the dirty spot under his snizzle.


10:48 AM  
Blogger Sitting in Silence said...

LOL...Oh I wish I saw that.

I tell ya,always one of those A-Holes around when you least expect it!

I am glad you got a chance to give it back to him ..LOL...

8:21 PM  

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