Ouch
I recently told my dad about something going on in my life, which to me, should have made him relieved and excited for me.
But earlier that same day I had also confessed something to him that wasn't so great. Something I wasn't particularly proud of, and that he had always tried to warn me about, but that I had done anyways. I could see the disappointment on his face when I told him, which to me is almost worse than him being angry.
However, since I've told him the other news, he hasn't talked to me at all. At the time I told him the good news, he hugged me and told me "that's great babe, I love you". But then that was it. He walked out of the room to get ready for bed because he was getting called for work in the middle of the night. That was over two weeks ago. He hasn't called me or talked to me since.
Friday I called him from work to say hi. He told me that he had been off work the entire week. I asked him why he hadn't called me and he said he had been watching my brother in his volleyball tournaments and had been busy with meetings and "stuff" all week. Finally I asked him if he had had time to think about the good news I had given him. He said "uh, yeah." That was it.
Sadly, I think the disappointing news I told him earlier is affecting how he feels about the other. The odd thing is that my mom has called me twice - which is very unlike her - to see how things are going. It's almost as though they have switched places.
I can't even put into words how I feel right now. I was pushing the thoughts about it away, until Friday I realized how much it was bothering me. I'm finding that his lack of happiness is making this thing less happy for me, which makes me hurt so much.
As one of the people that I love and respect most in the world, him being supportive and loving me is extremely important. Obviously he still loves me, but his lack of enthusiasm is taking more of a toll on me than I realized.
I am at a loss. I've never been in this situation with him before.
I don't know what to do.
But earlier that same day I had also confessed something to him that wasn't so great. Something I wasn't particularly proud of, and that he had always tried to warn me about, but that I had done anyways. I could see the disappointment on his face when I told him, which to me is almost worse than him being angry.
However, since I've told him the other news, he hasn't talked to me at all. At the time I told him the good news, he hugged me and told me "that's great babe, I love you". But then that was it. He walked out of the room to get ready for bed because he was getting called for work in the middle of the night. That was over two weeks ago. He hasn't called me or talked to me since.
Friday I called him from work to say hi. He told me that he had been off work the entire week. I asked him why he hadn't called me and he said he had been watching my brother in his volleyball tournaments and had been busy with meetings and "stuff" all week. Finally I asked him if he had had time to think about the good news I had given him. He said "uh, yeah." That was it.
Sadly, I think the disappointing news I told him earlier is affecting how he feels about the other. The odd thing is that my mom has called me twice - which is very unlike her - to see how things are going. It's almost as though they have switched places.
I can't even put into words how I feel right now. I was pushing the thoughts about it away, until Friday I realized how much it was bothering me. I'm finding that his lack of happiness is making this thing less happy for me, which makes me hurt so much.
As one of the people that I love and respect most in the world, him being supportive and loving me is extremely important. Obviously he still loves me, but his lack of enthusiasm is taking more of a toll on me than I realized.
I am at a loss. I've never been in this situation with him before.
I don't know what to do.
posted by Ali at 9:13 AM
6 Comments:
Sounds like you gave him a whole bunch of stuff to digest in one go! Guys can find that hard, especially when their little girl is involved!
He will be OK - chase him up later in the week if he hasn't called you by then.
My observations for what it’s worth.
You didn’t get the reaction you expected which is always a disappointment. Apparently he is troubled enough to discuss this with your mother who is attempting to mediate. She feels your emptiness.
He is working through this and it will be resolved. I am certain that he holds you in the highest esteem.
Continue to let him know that you love him and time will help.
you want me to go down there and show him how much my biceps have developed? -jk- :) Reggie and Rock chef are right - Guys sometimes take time to process "heavies" - and they don't always do it in the desired way. Give him time - Deep down he has the right feelings
give him some time this to shall pass
Oh Ali...my heart aches for you because I know how very much you love and respect him...(I am always so VERY moved when you write about your relationship with him).
I think the best thing you can do is take the "guy's advice" since they are also of that same weird species that we will probably never understand. Ha!
I too think that since you are his little girl and if whatever you told him was "bad" or whatever...the depths that it may have hurt him only shows the depths of how much he loves you!
I hope it all passes soon. {{{HUGS}}}
I don't think I can add anything that hasn't already been said here, and I'm thinking the guys are probably on the right track. I'm like you though. When you expect a certain reaction and you get the complete opposite, it is absolutely draining. Even though I know I couldn't follow my own advice, I think you should try to keep busy and not think about it so much (I know, but try...) until your dad has time to process this. Hugs!
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