Friday, October 05, 2007

Dear Creators of Skinny Jeans,

I feel it is only fair that someone advise you of your terrible misconception when it comes to jeans.

Granted, there are many fits and styles available to the masses; low rise, hip huggers, classic fit, relaxed fit, boot cut, etc. I am, however, a little concerned that you feel the "skinny" jean is in any way, shape, or form an acceptable genre of denim leg covering.

I mean, let's be honest, the average person can't squeeze their ankle into these pants, let alone their thighs or ass. In fact, in order to fit into these pants you should probably be along the figure shape of skeletal, which for most of us, doesn't happen until we're dead. And if by some small miracle you manage to actually squeeze yourself into a pair of them ante-mortem, and you weigh anything over 87 pounds, you look like a complete beefcake.

The 100 pound girls are shoving their finger down their throat at the mere thought of having to put on a pair of these jeans. Most people just end up looking like they have been squeezed into life size sausage casings.


So, in light of the fact that approximately 5% of the population can actually fit into skinny jeans (and that half of those people are currently in treatment for eating disorders) I beg of you to stop the injustice of skinny jeans. Either that or try to live with yourself after seeing all the 112 pound "porkers" squeezed into these vile creations, it's your decision.


Sincerely, Ali a.k.a. I weigh more than 87 pounds

12 Comments:

Blogger Rock Chef said...

Yes, I second this.

This is really a serious issue. My 11 year old daughter has friends who are rapidly heading for eating disorders because of clothes like this.

Another big problem is size labelling - we have found clothes for teenagers that are actually 4 inches smaller around the waist than the label indicates, so they think they are trying on a 24 inch waist when it is actually only 20 inches!

7:48 AM  
Anonymous ashley said...

Just think of the shoe possibilities with these skinny jeans ali……ENDLESS, not to mention the awesome boots you can wear with the jeans tucked inside…they look so HOT!!!

8:40 AM  
Blogger Princess of the Universe said...

Agreed.

9:10 AM  
Blogger mr zig said...

sometimes when I feel very sexy, and i'm very very alone, I wear skinny jeans... and look at my ass in the mirror, and then I put on a bonnet, and sing "Natural Woman" with a banana as a mircophone -

Ok, I don't really do this - but imagine if I did?! mmmmmm tasty!

9:18 AM  
Blogger Friendly Manitoban said...

Let's start a petition!

9:32 AM  
Anonymous brandy said...

Amen!

3:17 PM  
Blogger Logziella said...

Hey...how did you get a picture of ME in my skinny jeans??? LOL!!!!

Amen sister...send that letter on behalf of all of us who actually weigh SOMETHING!!! :0)

7:11 PM  
Blogger James said...

Both Laundry Fairy and I are genetically both on the skinny side so our kids actually DO fit into skinny jeans although they eat like small horses. Don't you just hate us you fat people you?

That was a really good post though TWM!

12:46 AM  
Blogger j.k.a said...

woot! another great post there Ali...

the only pair of skinny jeans I ever owned was when I was eight, and I would wear them with an awesome tye-dye shirt twisted to the side with a scrunchie in ultimate coolness.

yeah.

skinny jeans and me now would not happen. not only do they look silly on a short person, I can't fit into them without cutting off circulation to my thighs and butt.

'nuff said. :)

2:33 AM  
Blogger Suzel's Sass said...

Believe me, I've seen people close to 200 lbs wearing these. It's not a pretty sight!

8:53 AM  
Blogger Alyssa said...

My friend and I were JUST talking about the travesty of Skinny Jeans - in fact, the very day you posted this - and we're right with you.

Great post!

4:16 PM  
Anonymous terri said...

I've been seeing those things on the clearance racks around here. No one's buying them.

6:50 PM  

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