Thursday, June 11, 2009

Enough is Enough - Lesbian Doctor, May I Have an Appointment?

Remember a while ago when I was whining about being sick? And about how it lasted for just shy of a month?

Well the healthy spell after it lasted about 6 days.

Last Friday I was making crazy animal sounds in the car to keep Ellery entertained, and all of a sudden I felt a burn in my throat. I coughed for a few minutes, then decided to just tone down the monkey shrieks and tiger roars and all would be right with the world again.

Then later that night I started to cough. This really tight, wracking cough that makes me wish for the sweet release of a lung from my body, just so I can stop hacking.

But no dice.

When my mom called me on my birthday she listened to me for about 7 seconds before yelling "Are you sick again?! Is this the same thing as before? Is it something new?!?"

I told her it felt different than last time. I said that Chris had bent down to kiss me the night before, cupping my face in his hands, and I had almost cried when he touched the glands in my neck because they were so swollen.

"Alison Anne! You call and make a doctor appointment! Tomorrow! This is ridiculous! You've been sick for months!!!"

I tried telling her this was something new and that it would go away on its own, but she wouldn't hear anything about it. She knew anyways - smart woman that she is - that my dad would be talking to me next, and that he could probably convince me to go.

Sure enough, he wished me a happy birthday, then he lowered his voice, and talked very slow and soothingly, as if to a five year old..."Okay babe, you sound pretty awful." I told him I knew that, but that I was sure I was fine. "Yeah okay, you think that honey, but you're not a doctor. This is no good and you should go get checked out, mkay?" Then before I realized it I was talking in a little voice myself "Okay, daddy."

I don't think I'll ever grow out of being a little girl with him.

As of this morning I had yet to call, but when I sat down at my desk at work and realized that every single part of my body was aching, on top of the aching chest and throat and oh-so-sexy bark, I called the husband and he booked me an appointment. For Monday morning. With our old, lesbian doctor. The one who strips me naked for an earache or a stubbed toe. The one I am in the process of transferring away from, but have forgotten to take care of some paperwork, thus am still her patient.

I'm praying that I get better over the weekend, or Monday morning is going to have me in for a sexual assault in the form of a check-up.

Note to self: Next week, finish the transfer paperwork and get yourself officially signed up with the movie-star look-a-like doctor who agreed to take you as a patient last year.


Blogger terri said...

I'm going to have to agree with your parents on this one. If you're sick this soon after your last illness, something's not right. Get you some drugs! Stat!

8:49 PM  
Blogger Ali Kat said...

You've probably got Strep Throat - just go to a walk-in clinic tomorrow and ask for a penicillin prescription... that's what I do, 'cause I've had it so many times I know what it feels like!

9:03 PM  
Blogger Slyde said...

you need to get some meds, darlin..

9:12 AM  
Blogger James said...

You have probably been run down for a long time since Ellery was born, it can take a long time to get back to normal. Take care of your self TWM.

9:04 AM  
Blogger Chief Rock Chef said...

Hope the visit to the doc was/is useful and that they give you something to sort it out.

Now I am wondering if this doctor also strips her male patients! And what about the movie-star? Is it OK if HE makes you strip for an ear check? I wonder if HE makes his make patients strip...

7:24 AM  

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