Monday, December 08, 2008

Dear Fabricland Hags,

I don't know if you've had any sort of formal training on how to be the most bitchy, prissy, snot-faced bunch of old bags that I've ever come across, but let me assure you, if you haven't, you should receive an award. The Bitchy Company of the Year award.

I wish I could say that maybe I just had a bad experience today. Perhaps you were training a new person, or your tills were down, or someone had mis-priced the bolt of fabric I needed cut - but alas, that would be a lie. Today's experience was much like every other one I've had in your stores, but perhaps was the first time I didn't leave empty handed after having thrown anything I needed cut down on the nearest table and stomping out trailing a string of expletives. And that was only because I really, really needed the fabric, and I had already left one of your other locations in a huff earlier in the week.

It's one thing to be precise with your measuring and cutting, but for the love of all things holy, no one is going to fault you for cutting someone an extra inch of red flannel when it's on sale for 2 bucks a meter, plus an extra 20% off with your Fabricland card! Really! You act as though you spent hours at your loom, creating this crap yourself!

I don't understand why each of you seem to take it as a personal blow, when I respond that No, I do not have a members card. Why do you immediately pull your nose into the air and say "Well then you'll have to pay full price," then look down at me as if you're waiting for me to say "Oh, gee wilickers lady, there's no way I can afford all this beautiful fabric now."

Do not feel sorry for me - I can afford what I'm buying.

Do not give me attitude - there's no one stopping me from giving it right back to you.

Do not glare at me as if me needing you to cut 3 meters of polar fleece is going to ruin your day - that's your god-damn job.

I know I may not come off as Suzy Homemaker, and maybe I have no idea how to genuinely sew anything. So what if I can't read a pattern to save my life, or I can't remember if I need the 64" width, or the 68"?

When I texted my husband from your store, asking him if we had bail money to get me out of the slammer if I maimed one of you while I waited, I wasn't kidding.

The point is that I'm in your store to make a purchase. I go in happy and polite and ask nicely if I need a hand with something. The least you could do is come down off your high horse, smile, and help me out like you get paid to do.

Sincerely, Ali


Blogger Chris said...

I'm saving that text for life.

gisem? Seriously?!?!

5:49 PM  
Blogger terri said...

I'm guessing they don't keep a supply of those customer satisfaction cards near the registers? Maybe you should just print out this post and mail it to corporate headquarters! YEAH!

6:39 PM  
Blogger Slyde said...

i have never bought fabric in my life. i am much too manly for any of that girliness...

7:18 PM  
Blogger Sitting in Silence said...

I hope you sent them this note in their christmas card !

11:08 PM  
Blogger Wreggie said...

A good liver punch was in order. That would have straightened her out.

6:10 AM  
Blogger Chief Rock Chef said...

Mrs RC used to work in a small store like this. It was accepted practice to measure the amount asked for, add 3 inches and THEN cut it.

We both hate going into a lot of places like this now as the staff are just like you say here. Mrs RC thinks they should get themselves a man...

11:08 AM  
Blogger Princess of the Universe said...


11:19 AM  
Blogger surviving myself said...

Is polar fleece what eskimos wear?

I know. That was dumb.

1:56 PM  
Blogger Nothy Lane said...

Fabricland does need to do something about customer service.

11:09 AM  

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