Thursday, July 03, 2008

And Right on Cue, the Religion Train Comes Barreling Through My Door

I was expecting it. Preparing for it. Psyching myself up for the inevitable.

Yet still I wasn't quite prepared when I went to church with my family while I was in Ontario and as we were leaving the priest leaned in and asked...so when are we going to baptize that baby?

Ugh.

How about: I don't know. I'm still thinking about it. I'm not entirely sure we're even going to baptize her?

Had I said that, I would have been responsible for near certain heart attacks to my grandparents, and some heavy duty disapproval from the parental generation.

We Catholics are notorious for flashing the purgatory card at anyone even considering not baptizing their child; we're into scare tactics. But here's the thing about that - I have a hard time believing God is going to let an innocent child live in limbo because their parents wouldn't baptize them...at least the God I believe in.

She's practically an angel already anyways :)

I'm still trying to sort myself out when it comes to religion, so why do I have to be so quick to commit my daughter to the one I'm not entirely sure I want to belong to myself?

Because that's what Catholics do.

To most of you this is probably an easy problem. If you're not sure, don't baptize her, right?

Well one of the other things Catholicism is good for is guilt. We love to lay it on...we practically bathe in it.

So for now I'm going to play the "maybe if I don't talk about it, everyone else will forget about it" hand - though I'm guessing that's only going to buy me about a month of time.

9 Comments:

Blogger Chief Rock Chef said...

I know this can be a really tricky one. We decided to let our kids find their own way, having a very open attitude to religion. If one wants to be a Buddhist, that is fine by me! But we did not have the family pressure to deal with. Good luck!

That photo of Ellery is beautiful! Such perfect skin.

Funny, my wife always feels guilty about things, even silly things. I often tell her that she should have been Catholic.

9:25 AM  
Blogger Teresa said...

It's YOUR choice...plain and simple. Too bad the ones who might pressure you don't understand that.

Hang in there...

12:47 PM  
Blogger mike said...

Like the Rock Chef sez, it is a tricky one... for me personally the guilt thing was what deterred me from religion at an early age and making me the bad ass catholic that I am. scratch that... former Catholic I guess would be the way to say it.

Ellery will be fine with or without religion, she has two amazing parents who will raise her right.

Besides, she's going to be the envy of daycare when she teaches the rest of the kids how to swear. It'll be like the kids from South Park when they were the first to watch the Terrence and Philip Movie.

4:30 PM  
Blogger Reggie said...

It is an outward sign to your family, friends and church that you intend to bring her up as a Christian. This is what I believe. Nothing more.

5:58 PM  
OpenID territerri said...

I can totally relate to your struggle. Mark and I spent years going through the motions, baptisms, reconciliation, first communions. Now our youngest is completing her confirmation classes (her choice) even though we don't often attend our catholic church anymore. I've been going to the new church that I've written about now and then, and the more I do, the more I see how silly and big-brotherish the catholic church can seem. As always, I feel that if it works for some, more power to them. But if it doesn't, we shouldn't be guilted into sticking with it. I finally feel like my faith is growing, at 41 years old, now that I've broken out of the mold. Follow your heart on this one.

P.S. Ellery is BEAUTIFUL!

8:44 PM  
Blogger tz said...

beautiful baby!
it's hard, particularly when it's tradition vs actual faith...

we have a wide variety of stuff going on in our families...hubby, came from a jewish family who followed buddism...but i still got a book 'how to raise your kids jewish' from his mother...i was raised episcopalian (catholic light) and got quite a load of guilt when we didn't babtize our kiddos...and now both hubby and i go to a non denomitational church and our kids will get babtized if they choose and as adults...

so whatever you decide will be good for you and your family

but since it's about family, i really like your just don't say anything attitdue and it might go away

denial is my fave coping mechanism

really cute baby! i know i said that before but really she's adorable, makes me want to have another one...hahaha

not really

10:25 PM  
Blogger Backpacker momma said...

We didn't baptize mck, though I went to catholic school for 9 years and Pat is Italian (nuff said). His family was a weeeeee bit shokeroo'd that tehre was no baptism but we are in the way of thinking like you, we aren't sure, why stick it on her? We figure we'll let her decide when she's old enough to understand. She may want a baptism years from now like my dad had. Don't feel guilty. Its amazing to already be giving your child freedom to use her own mind.

9:16 AM  
Anonymous Zack said...

Don't be pressured by your fam... it should be completely up to you and your husband

10:18 AM  
Blogger James said...

Completely off topic Ali but....I was just wondering if you have had to deal with an "Up the backer" nappy yet?

11:01 AM  

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