"Someone" Left Me a Present
When me and someone go grocery shopping we always stock up on fruit. I am what you might refer to as a fruit-a-holic. I love me some fruit. And yes, I do molest and fondle each piece before I choose it.
Anyways, it's not that often that any fruit goes uneaten at our house. And usually it's bananas, just because they go too yellow too fast for me, and I just keep them till they're black then throw them in the freezer for future baking.
But I digress...boy do I digress. Ahem, yeah, so last time we went grocery shopping I got the usual plethora of fruit, and today - this is what remains in the fruit basket. One sad banana, 2 oranges that I plan on eating in the next couple of days, and one mango.
Fantastic, right? I've got a few pieces left over for the week before we head to Ontario for the long weekend...or do I?
The banana I won't eat, the oranges for sure...but did anyone take a good look at that sorry little mango? Here, look at the close up...
Mysteriously, this mango seems to have developed this spot overnight. It was fine when I glanced at it yesterday...yet here it is with a big, nasty rotten spot on it. Isn't that puzzling? I never knew fruit could go bad so quickly.
But, oh wait a second, perhaps yesterday when I looked, I only saw the other side of it. The side that was a lovely orangey red colour and still looked delicious. Perhaps someone rolled it over today, saw the rotten spot and thought "ewww, I'm not eating that!" Or, perhaps the basket got bumped and it rolled over to reveal the rotten spot.
Either way, the rotten mango was still sitting in the fruit basket just waiting for me when I got home. Nice.
Someone will probably be pretty irritated that I posted this entry. Though I encourage someone to write about what I do that bothers them, someone insists that they don't want to - someone is too nice.
So, just to even up the score for my mean-ness by posting about someone's incessant snoring and inability to throw rotten fruit away - I will leave you with some things I do that I know drive someone nuts.
(someone will now be referred to as "he" - although I am not implying that someone is, in fact, a he)
1. He hates that every night when he asks what I want for dinner I say "um, I'll just have cereal." He loves to cook and it kills him that I don't care enough about food to eat a good meal, or even eat at all, unless he pushes me.
2. He hates that I steal the blankets at night, then snarl at him when he tries to pull a little of them back because he's shivering under 6 inches of sheet.
3. He hates that I flirt - but hates it more that I admit I do it.
4. He hates that I never answer the phone at home. I will either outright ignore it, or, if he answers, I will whisper "I'm not home" so I don't have to talk to anyone.
5. He hates that when our bedroom is a disaster I will often decide at 11 at night that it has to be clean before we go to bed. He always asks "why do you decide this when I want to go to bed?" The answer is - I have no idea - but sometimes it just has to be done.
Anyways, it's not that often that any fruit goes uneaten at our house. And usually it's bananas, just because they go too yellow too fast for me, and I just keep them till they're black then throw them in the freezer for future baking.
But I digress...boy do I digress. Ahem, yeah, so last time we went grocery shopping I got the usual plethora of fruit, and today - this is what remains in the fruit basket. One sad banana, 2 oranges that I plan on eating in the next couple of days, and one mango.
Fantastic, right? I've got a few pieces left over for the week before we head to Ontario for the long weekend...or do I? The banana I won't eat, the oranges for sure...but did anyone take a good look at that sorry little mango? Here, look at the close up...
Mysteriously, this mango seems to have developed this spot overnight. It was fine when I glanced at it yesterday...yet here it is with a big, nasty rotten spot on it. Isn't that puzzling? I never knew fruit could go bad so quickly.But, oh wait a second, perhaps yesterday when I looked, I only saw the other side of it. The side that was a lovely orangey red colour and still looked delicious. Perhaps someone rolled it over today, saw the rotten spot and thought "ewww, I'm not eating that!" Or, perhaps the basket got bumped and it rolled over to reveal the rotten spot.
Either way, the rotten mango was still sitting in the fruit basket just waiting for me when I got home. Nice.
Someone will probably be pretty irritated that I posted this entry. Though I encourage someone to write about what I do that bothers them, someone insists that they don't want to - someone is too nice.
So, just to even up the score for my mean-ness by posting about someone's incessant snoring and inability to throw rotten fruit away - I will leave you with some things I do that I know drive someone nuts.
(someone will now be referred to as "he" - although I am not implying that someone is, in fact, a he)
1. He hates that every night when he asks what I want for dinner I say "um, I'll just have cereal." He loves to cook and it kills him that I don't care enough about food to eat a good meal, or even eat at all, unless he pushes me.
2. He hates that I steal the blankets at night, then snarl at him when he tries to pull a little of them back because he's shivering under 6 inches of sheet.
3. He hates that I flirt - but hates it more that I admit I do it.
4. He hates that I never answer the phone at home. I will either outright ignore it, or, if he answers, I will whisper "I'm not home" so I don't have to talk to anyone.
5. He hates that when our bedroom is a disaster I will often decide at 11 at night that it has to be clean before we go to bed. He always asks "why do you decide this when I want to go to bed?" The answer is - I have no idea - but sometimes it just has to be done.
posted by Ali at 5:21 PM
5 Comments:
I think you should blame the bad fruit faeries (one of the risks in spending time with me, the faeries that follow me everywhere I go) for the bad spot.
And I too ignore the phone. The roommate has been trained to just talk to the person for a while (telemarketer, political survey, whatever) and discreetly ask me if I want to take any calls.
It's fantastic!
PS I bought some lime Jell-o yesterday- your "lame" fruit mould idea was genius!
I'm glad i'm not the only one that doesn't like answering the phone, and often I tell Alyssa the same thing in a whispery voice... "I'm not here!" - or "tell them I'm sleeping"
I always answer the phone, even though it is NEVER for me!
Choosing the wrong time for major tidying up is classic. My wife does that too, though I don't say anything. It not like she will stop once she has got going!
I NEVER answer the phone at home and it also drives someone crazy. When someone else (x4) answers the phone and it's for me they yell and run away so that I have to answer it!
I ignore the phone at home too. I talk on the phone all day at work, so I don't want to do it when I get home and it drives Mark nuts when I look at the caller ID and yell, "Solicitor! Don't answer it!" And he's so anal, he can't stop himself from answering it anyway.
I think you're onto something here with blaming "someone" for various things. I loved it!
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