My Nemesis

I'd like you all to meet the latest nemesis to my world. The satin dress of shame...aka my bridesmaid dress.

These dresses were ordered in the first week of February, when the bride decided to go from "you guys can just grab cute, short cocktail dresses for about $50" to "I've picked out these hot satin dresses from a bridal salon, they are so gorgeous and we have to have them - you don't mind that they cost almost $300 do you?"

Holy shnikees - yes I mind!

But am I going to be the bridesmaid to pitch a fit and say that I refuse to buy it? Actually, that does sound like something I would do...but, no - I figured it's her day, so whatever.

When I went to get measured for the dress the girl told me that the dress might be a little snug on me, but that it would look great. I remember balking a little when she pulled one out in red for me to check out - thinking "wow, that dress looks awfully low in the front...and wow! the back looks low enough to show some serious ass." But I pushed the thoughts aside thinking that I would deal with it when the time came.

Well, this week the time came.

Oh boy.

Turns out that the dress is actually a little loose, and I will have to have it taken in just a tiny bit. But, oh lord, there is some bare skin. Turns out that the back is completely open except for the two strips from the shoulders that twist their way down my back - and the fabric that covers my butt comes up about 3 inches above my butt. Three inches is not a lot of fabric when your entire back is out.

But...that's not the worst of it...oh no...it gets better.

The front section is so low that I'm concerned my dad may pass out when he sees me in this dress at the wedding - not to mention the priest. To give the ladies a better idea of what I mean, here goes - you know the bottom part of the front of your bra? Well that is where this dress is open to. In the picture, it looks like it would fit right around the lines of a bra - but when it gets put on, and there are "things" to fill it out, the opening is much lower.

I brought it in to work yesterday, changed in my office, and called the ladies in to tell me what I should do to have it altered to fit better. They were awesome. We decided where it would look best taken in, but then they both told me that there was just no way around the very significant cleavage - but assured me that it would look fantastic. One of the ladies actually started to cry, telling me that she was so proud of me because I looked so beautiful - how that made her proud I have no idea - but Krista and I giggled away about it while she teared up.

My husband's reaction was...appreciative. I'm not sure he's thinking about the fact that there will be a couple more people seeing me on the day of my friend's wedding. A couple...like about 250.

Of course, I can always reassure myself with the fact that the attention should be on the bride that day and not on us bridesmaids. But I've gotta tell you, if I was at a wedding where the bridesmaids were sporting this much cleavage, I'd be checking them out too!