Boo

Huh. I haven't posted since last Wednesday. Guess I've been gone longer than I thought...weird how time sort of all runs into itself these days.

Anyhoosers - I haven't been doing too much. Went home to the parents' house on Friday, and just got back this afternoon. It wasn't the usual relaxing, enjoyable weekend that I've come to relish when I'm away from the city, but more of a snippy, sleepless, eye rolling, arguing, rainy sort of one.

Ellery is teething, which I'm sure many of you parents can understand, really, really sucks. She's miserable, then happy. Usually has at least four fingers in her mouth at one time and is drooling profusely. Is up at least once an hour, and doesn't just go back to sleep once you've been to see her, but instead screams at the top of her lungs until someone (aka ME) picks her up. She freaks if I'm not within eyesight, and most of the time when I'm not holding her.

Then because of the sleeplessness I'm a little irritable. And that is only made more clear when people are being assholes. I swear, this weekend it was like it was open season on assholes, and I was without my shotgun.

And now because I was so miserable all weekend, I've gotten myself into a sort of sad funk, which I'm finding it hard to get out of. It's been a long time since I felt so down, and I remember now...not fun.

Ah well, I'm hoping it will pass soon. But in the meantime, here are a couple pictures from the weekend:

From the government docks in my hometown, looking straight down the river that separates Canada and the US.
That's Minnesota on the left.

And my gorgeous little Imp last week, giving me a grin that made my heart smile.

Man, I Wanna Be You

Over the course of my life, I have occasionally thought about what it would be like to be a man. And before any of you think that I'm on my way to Transsexualtonville, I absolutely am NOT. I love being female, and all my various bits and pieces, thank you very much.

But what I mean, more specifically, is that I have often wondered some things about being a man. For instance:

1. What does sex feel like to you? And more specifically, what does an orgasm feel like to you?

2. Why are you such idiots about many common sense things? For example - why don't you just put your socks in the laundry? It would save you a hell of a lot of attitude from your significant other.

3. How many times is it really necessary to shift your junk around in a day?

4. What is the infatuation with lesbians? I don't think most women have the same infatuation with gay men.

5. How many times do you really think about sex in a day?

Hmm, I'm realizing as I'm typing this that the majority of my questions are sex related...yeah, um, well whatever, I still want to know. So I guess that's it - I want to be a man for one day for the sex, and to find out why some (not all) of you are so mentally challenged by common sense situations.

Bitchy McBitcherson Rides Again

Oh Lord am I bitchy.

Bitchy like if anyone besides my daughter so much as looks at me before 10am tomorrow, I may have a breakdown.

Bitchy like if I have to clean the Forman grill one more time this week I may just smash it on the kitchen floor where it will sit for weeks because I will refuse to clean it up.

Bitchy like when I was at the mall earlier in the day and if one more person had stepped in front of me while I was pushing the stroller and then stopped walking I may have kicked them right in the coccyx.

Bitchy like when I walked out of the laundry room with 2 clean sets of king size sheets that I had found wrapped up in a little ball on top of the dryer because someone had been too lazy to fold them, knowing that eventually I would come along and fold them, so instead I threw the ball on the couch and yelled "I am not your mother!"

Bitchy like I better get my ass to bed, or risk delivering a roundhouse kick to *someones face tomorrow.



*This someone should not be confused with the someone I mentioned in the sheet debacle. I would never intentionally roundhouse kick the sheet someones face...I'm married to that one.

Happenings

I've been noticing something about Ellery lately. Take a look at this picture...I bet some of you will see what I mean.
Yeah, see that bottom lip? How it's ever so slightly forming a pout? This is a toned down version - this girl can pout like nobody's business. But I guess I have it coming :)

She's also been practicing her tummy time. She used to scream bloody murder when I'd put her on her stomach, but now she's beginning to enjoy it. She pushes her little butt up and shoves herself along the blanket, leaving a trail of drool from wherever she started.

We went for a walk down at The Forks the other day to try and squeeze in some more outside time before it's freezing here. The trees are all starting to change colour, and everything looks beautiful, but the winds are chilly and fall has definitely arrived.

Here is downtown Winnipeg, taken from The Forks. I can even see my office building from here. And I never thought I'd say this, but after 7 years, Winnipeg is starting to grow on me.

What is it about getting your hair done that makes you feel like a million bucks? I went last week, and it's pretty damn dark which just makes my Irish skin pretty much glow white, but I love it anyways.

Here you can see the red in it.
Husband says it looks like my hair is on fire.

One of the things I picked up in Ikea was this tree. It's a whole slew of stickers that lay flat on the wall, and they give you four pictures that are about 1"X1" of different designs that you can pick from, or you can stick them up however you want.

I know this isn't everyone's idea of cool, but I love the end result!

Random Friday Thoughts

1. I'm going to get my hair coloured and trimmed today. You have no idea how excited I am about this! The last time it was coloured was when I was 7 months pregnant! With Ellery being 4 months old...oh Lord, that's a long time. I'm going to feel like a new woman, woohoo!

2. The husband's snoring has been driving me to the brink of homicide. Last night he bought a pack of nasal strips and said "I'll try to get up with her if she gets up tonight so you can sleep." Awww, right? Yeah, the important word there was "try." How anyone can sleep through a baby screaming at the top of her lungs when the monitor is 4 feet from their head is beyond me. Ass.

3. I finally have this place more or less cleaned up and re-arranged from the carnage that resulted from our trip to Alberta. It looks like a new apartment. Pictures to follow Teresa :)

4. Have any of you watched a show called Toopie and Binoo on Treehouse? If you don't have kids I'm guessing you haven't - but I hate that show. It features an itty bitty mute kitten, and an enormous, sexually confused rat.
Seriously - the rat is a dude, but when they play "dress-up" in each episode, he's things like: a fairy godmother, a mermaid, a princess, little bo peep, and even the mommy when they're playing house. I'm thinking I don't really want Ellery watching this unless the rat gets his shit together - and yes, she loves tv already.

5. I need coffee STAT, so I will bid you adieu and wish you all a fabulous weekend.

I Like 'Em Shriveled...hahahahahaha!

I was over at Starting Over @ 24's blog the other day, where he's keeping everyone posted on his foray into the world of internet dating. He spoke of one girl's profile that made him laugh, when she confessed that she had a crush on Robin from the Disney movie of Robin Hood. In that movie, Robin was played by a fox - as in, the animal - not a foxy man.

As I was laughing away at this, I suddenly remembered a childhood crush I had...on a, um, raisin. Yes, you read that right, on a raisin. On one of The California Raisins to be exact.


I don't remember everything about it, but I do know that my crush developed after seeing their Christmas special, and I know that it was on the cool "leader" raisin, and his name was AC. Ahem.

After checking Wikipedia, I also know that the Christmas special came out in 1987, so considering the fact that I was 7 years old, I don't think I should really be able to be teased about it. Right? RIGHT?!

Ah, tease me if you want, but I distinctly remember AC being one dreamy raisin.

I've Got a Bone to Pick, So To Speak...

As some of you who have been around since the beginning of this blog know - I'm a meat eater. That became glaringly clear the first time I was pregnant. Remember I was posting every day about having dreams of steak, thinking I could eat about half a cow myself, and then even posting pictures of my plate with steak on it? Yeah. So the point here is that I am a carnivore.

I know that some people out there are vegetarians, vegans, and I'm sure loads of other things that avoid certain "foods" for one reason or another. To all those people, good for you. I applaud you in your choices of not eating what you do (or don't, I guess).

I also respect you in your decisions, and though I would never try to convert you to eating meat, I may ask why you have chosen not to eat it, just out of my own curiosity. I would also expect the same respect from you.

Now, on with my bone (hehe)...

I know several people who are vegetarians, and in fact one of them is a member of my own family. She and her boyfriend have decided to be vegetarians because meat "grosses them out". Whatever, no problem. They have been claiming this for, oh I don't know, 5 years now? And they have been eating meat for, oh I don't know, that same 5 years?

It seems they are only vegetarian when it suits them.

For instance, if we're at my inlaws having a steak dinner, they'll make a big commotion about having to eat meat (like the rest of us are standing there forcing it down their throats). They'll cut into a steak and talk about all the blood that's running all over the plate, and now it's touching their salad, and eew, it's all over their potatoes. So what do they do? They microwave their steaks to cook them a bit more. And then they eat them. Yes, apparently microwaving a piece of cow turns it into a plant or something.

And then if we go out for dinner as a family, we have to eat in these weird places that offer seaweed "bratwurst", and thistle "lamb chops" because they don't want to be faced with a menu of all meat. I think unless you're going to Bob's Bloody Slaughter for dinner I'm pretty sure you can find a couple of vegetarian meals on most menus, but maybe I'm just being daft.

But then, they'll be with us in the car and we'll swing through the McDonald's drive-thru and they're yelling "Get me a quarter pounder with cheese and a coke!" And, I'm sorry, but if a quarter pounder doesn't make you a meat eater, then I don't know what the hell does.

In the past month or so they've started calling themselves vegans, which as far as I can tell, are people that do not use or consume animal products of any kind. I find this funny, since just a few weeks ago we brought them about 3 dozen eggs from a farm in Ontario.

Sadly, more than one of the un-carnivores I know are like this.

Anyways, the whole point of this post was just to say: If you're going to be a vegetarian, vegan, fruitarian - then own it! Don't be those things because you think they make you cool, be them because it's what you believe in! And don't gag at me when I cut into my filet mignon!

Dear Ellery,

My beautiful baby girl, today is your 4 month birthday. It's hard to believe that you've already been with us that long, because in a way it seems like just yesterday we were sharing our "apartment" in my belly. But then again it seems like you've always been here, because we can't remember life without you.

Every day you amaze me with how much you grow and learn, and every day I thank whoever is up there for giving me the most precious gift I'll ever receive.

People often comment about how bright you are, since you're always very attentive and curious about your surroundings. I usually chock that up to nosiness, but bright sounds so much better :) Many people also tell me that they think you look like an old soul, much older than your 4 months. I have to agree with them in that respect, because to me you seem like someone I've known all my life, a wise little creature.

Your personality is a near perfect blend of daddy and myself. You can be calm and observant as he often is, but you are often wild and noisy, and the center of attention, how I tend to be. In recent weeks you've begun to use your hands in a very purposeful way, no longer waving them in the general direction of what you want, but instead reaching out and grabbing it directly.

You love to shriek, and do so often. You'll also play favourites, but it seems, to whoever isn't holding you. If you're on daddy's lap, you'll coo and squeal at me from across the room, flashing that 100-watt smile my way until I come scoop you up and tell you I love you. But no sooner am I holding you, do you turn your affections to him instead. You've got us both wrapped around your itty bitty fingers, and I fear that will mean trouble in the future.

At this point you are still a tiny little thing. You're only tipping the scales at about 10 pounds these days, and I haven't packed up many things you've grown out of yet. It's just now that you are starting to fit most of your 0 to 3 month clothes, and nearly every pair of pants you have has to be folded and pinned at the back in order to stay up. You are far from the chubby babies that daddy and I were.

Every morning when I walk in your room, I watch your face light up when you hear my voice saying your name, and my heart melts. One of my favourite things to do is to take you into bed with us late in the morning, and play with you while you shriek and roll around, and blow raspberries, and pull the blankets over your head. I can't think of a better way to start each and every day.

You are my favourite and I'll love you forever.

Mommy

More Excuses and Some Musical Whatnot

So yeah. Apparently though there seems to be no end to my stamina for assembling furniture, re-arranging every room in my home, doing laundry, shopping, and playing with the PVR now that I know how it works - and as a side note, let me get all male brain and say: Holy shit! The pvr friggin' rocks and now I know why all the boys make such a hooplah about junk like that - but when it comes to me taking care of some blogging business and getting my trip photos uploaded, I'm pretty much as lame as a horse with 4 bum legs.

So though I know you're all waiting with bated breath to see how we rocked out in Calgary, sadly you'll have to wait. Now let's all quit crying about it and move on...

I have some random music related thoughts bouncing around in my head, and since none of them are really solid enough to make a whole post about them, I'll just put them here in one big mess.

1. One of my most favourite songs ever is Proud Mary, by Ike and Tina Turner. The only thing is, I love the very beginning when it's just Tina's voice crooning away about leavin' her good job in the city, workin' for the man every night and day, but I can't stand the rest of the song. So I listen to the first 40 seconds of the song, then once the tempo picks up, I skip it - how dumb is that?

2. What I really love about music is finding some off-the-wall band or singer that only 13 other people in the world have ever heard of, and listening to them in bliss, while the rest of the world continues to listen to the Top 40. Don't get me wrong, I'm a sucker for really lame pop music too, but there is so much more out there!
Anyways, what is really silly is that I hate when someone I have been listening to for a while suddenly gets heard by a few more people, then a few more people, and before you know it, one of their tracks is being played every 5 minutes on the radio or tv. Then the whole world knows about them - pretty soon their is a dance remix of the song - and everyone is so in love with them.
I absolutely hate that.
It's not that I don't want the artist to be successful, but I just don't want everyone and their dog to be listening to them too, because suddenly the music that I loved so much becomes like nails on a chalkboard, screechy and never-ending.
Does anyone else feel like this or is it just me?

3. To go with the above - if any of you haven't heard of Duffy yet, she's amazing, and of course, now the whole world is starting to realize it. I recently heard one of her tracks on a movie trailer! Sob. But check her out here anyways - she rocks.

4. James had asked me about Ramona and whatever happened to her. Well, we had a little break...that was actually more like a big break, but we're back in love with each other again. I'm not taking lessons anymore, but in the past couple months I've been playing around with her for Ellery, who squeals in delight every time I play. We're making up for lost time now, and I love it.

5. Has anyone heard the new AC/DC song? I love them, but they are sounding oooooooold. I mean, they were old before but now it's almost painful to listen to.

Crikey

Okay, okay.

So apparently when I'm in town, my blogging skills suck. Perhaps I should depend entirely upon scheduled posts...ugh.

I've been busy putting together all our new Ikea goodies, rearranging Miss E's room, ordering takeout food like it's my last week to do it, and visiting with various family members.

I should have everything put together by tomorrow (husband put 4 screws into our new entertainment unit so far - what a great helper hey?) and then I can get on with the blogging!

Miss you, and I'll catch up as soon as possible.

On My Love for Calgary and Being an Ikea Whore

So we're back! The trip was great, we had loads of fun, and I took tons of pictures - but most of them will have to wait - I have to go and delete all the crap ones, and change the sizes of the others so that I can upload them...perhaps tomorrow I'll post those. But here's a little post for you anyways:

As we drove across Manitoba, Saskatchewan, and into Alberta, I began to notice the flat prairie turn gradually into rolling wheat fields, then into hayed green ones dotted with giant wind turbines, and finally into huge sprawling cattle farms, before we finally breezed down the Trans-Canada highway into my beloved Calgary, and the mountains in the background nearly made me cry.

Oh Calgary. How I have missed you.

The city has grown immensely since we left it exactly 7 years ago, yet it still feels like home. We drove into our old 'hood, found our very first basement apartment, then drove on to our next place, a two bedroom apartment in the North East. It's funny how quickly things come back to you...we would be driving and one of us would yell something like "Hey, remember that Tim Horton's!?!? That was the one we stopped at that time when we went camping in Montana, and then you remembered you forgot the frying pan and the sleeping bags, so we had to drive all the way back here, but you decided you wanted hot chocolate before we went home?"

I went to Ikea three times. Yes three. Did you read the title of this post where I said I was an Ikea whore? Yeah, it's true. I freely admit it. And I spent around 800 bucks in that store. The funny thing is that I went there for a dresser for the baby's room...and I left with a dresser, a bookcase, a new entertainment unit, a rug, kitchen gadgets, new accessories for E's room, and a whole shitload of stuff I could have lived without. But I figure hey, I only go there once every decade or so now, so why not get what I want? Plus, we paid cash for everything, so no credit card bills will be coming - yay!

Miss E handled the hours in the van much better than I thought she would. For the total 28 hours (there and back) she was in her car seat, the total crying time was about 37 minutes. She spent much of the time concentrating on her finger dexterity, and practicing her new ear drum popping octave of shriek. Dynamite.

We managed to squeeze in everything we wanted to do while we were there except visit The Wicked Wedge (the city's best pizza - oh god!), and head down to 17th ave to visit some of the funky little shops I love - but those can wait till next time, which will definitely be sooner than 7 years from now!

For the "Anonymous" Who Emailed Me Some Questions

Anonymous #2 asked: Okay....where did you come up with spookygem and miss quicksilver? Have you had the urge for another tattoo? Have you had the urge to remove a tattoo? Do you think you are aging well mentally and physically? Do you ever just bust out laughing when you are all by yourself because you thought about something funny? What is the biggest surprise about being a mother? Does parenting fill the urge to parent like you thought it would when you so wanted a baby?

I think this might be my favourite mess of questions, so here we go:

Where did you come up with spookygem and miss quicksilver?
Spookygem - I was trying to open a new email account, and I always like to incorporate "gemini" somehow, but everything I came up with seemed to already be in use. I think it was somewhere around halloween, and Spookygem just popped into my head.
Miss Quicksilver - The term quicksilver is generally used in reference to mercury - the noun is actually a description of the liquid metal (sorry, getting to editor-ish here) - but the adjective of quicksilver is: Unpredictable; mercurial: "a quicksilver character, cool and willful at one moment, utterly fragile the next" (Sven Birkerts). - which, again pulling in my Gemini star sign - sums me up almost perfectly.

Have you had the urge for another tattoo?
Yes. Plans are in the works right now for something small and delicate to incorporate Ellery into my body art.

Have you had the urge to remove a tattoo?
No - though I do wish now that I would have went somewhere else to have the one on the inside of my wrist done. It could have been so much more beautiful if I hadn't had such a lazy tattoo artist.

Do you think you are aging well mentally and physically?
Mentally - I like to think I've grown up a lot in recent years, but to tell you the truth, I like the idea of always feeling just a little bit like a kid. It allows me to really be myself, and have a lot of fun doing it.
Physically - well, I could always stand to be in better shape. Boo.

Do you ever just bust out laughing when you are all by yourself because you thought about something funny?
All.the.time. I also do it when I'm out alone, but in the middle of a crowd of people where I don't know anyone. I'm sure people think I'm crazy. I also talk to myself, lol.

What is the biggest surprise about being a mother?
Thinking about someone other than myself. I mean, I always think about other people, but it was just husband and I for so long, that we never thought twice about doing anything, because there was never anyone else to worry about. Now my first thought is always Ellery. I knew it would happen, I just didn't realize how every little thing would have to be thought through once she was born.

Does parenting fill the urge to parent like you thought it would when you so wanted a baby?
Yes. I was born to be a lot of things, but being a parent is the most important. I have never felt so much joy in my entire life as when I'm taking care of that child.

Undies, Tears, Purity Rings, and Sexual Positions - Just a Smidgen of What Brings People to my Blog

Upon checking my stat-counter recently, I began to notice some of the searches that were bringing people to my blog. Most of them were a little...questionable...and they make me curious as to some of the stuff I've actually written and forgotten about.

As you'll notice when you read these searches though, Geminis aren't coming across as very great people! Needless to say, they made me laugh.

1. My Gemini guy asks me over but then can’t wait for me to leave

2. An official sees me in my undies

(what?!?! when did I ever talk about this?)

3. Gemini hasn’t called

4. How to change a Gemini’s mind

(good luck with this one!)

5. Are Gemini’s miserable?

6. My ears are full of tears

(Rock Chef should remember this one - lol)

7. How do you piss off a Gemini?

8. Purity rings in Calgary

(I knew that post would come back to bite me in the ass)

9. How to apologize to a Gemini

10. My Gemini asks, lets do it in another position

(Woohoo! Yeah Gemini!)

For Anonymous

The topics Anonymous gave me were:

-most embarrassing junior high moment
-how you and chris met
-your favorite vacation
-guilty pleasure
-typical day in the life

I ended up writing about how Chris and I met first, and it was pretty much a novel, so I'll answer the others when I'm back from my trip.

Chris moved to my hometown in 1992, just before school was out for the summer. I went to a Catholic school out of town, and he went to the public school - which as luck would have it, is also where Monica went.
I had seen him around town once or twice and had thought he was "really, really cute", so when the district schools got together for Track and Field day, I was hoping I would somehow get to meet him. Of course, he was two years older than me, so I figured he wouldn't look twice anyways - and yes, I was thinking all this just before I was even 12 years old.
Anyways, at the end of Track and Field day, I stayed behind to walk home with Monica, since it was pointless for me to bus all the way back to my school when I could just walk the two minutes to my house. I remember walking through the halls with her, and seeing Chris walking towards us. He was listening to a yellow walkman, and I grabbed Monica's arm and shrieked "Ohmygodthereheisyouhavetointroducemetohim!" So when he was walking by, Monica said "Hey Chris, this is my friend Alison," and he said "Hey" and smiled at me.
Five minutes later when Monica and I were walking home I actually said "I am going to marry that guy someday" - and that is absolutely the truth.
That fall his sister switched to my school, and I would bombard her with questions about him every chance I got. I would get her to bring in pictures of him, and I would call their house to talk to her - all the while hoping he would pick up the phone when I called. Then it got to the point that when the school bus would drop her off and he would be outside in the yard, I would hang out the bus window and scream "Hi!" to him.

What can I say - I don't know how to play hard to get, lol.

The summer before I started high school (in 1994), I noticed that he would always be over at one of my neighbour's houses, playing football with their son. Naturally, I began to spend all my free time outside, hoping to see him. Then one day his friend developed a terrible throwing arm, and the football kept ending up in my yard, thereby forcing Chris to have to run across the street and into my yard - very odd.

That summer he got his Learner's Permit, and I began to notice that he seemed to be driving down my street a lot. It wasn't long before I realized that he was driving by my house, turning around at the end of the street, driving by the other way, and so on and so on.

When school started we would say hi in the halls, smiling at each other, and making up lame excuses to have to talk to each other. Then one night I was walking across the street from Monica's house to my own, and it was pitch black outside. I had to walk by this huge row of trees, and it always spooked me out to do that - half the time I would end up running full tilt down her driveway.

So just as I was about to kick it into high gear, three guys jumped out of the trees and grabbed me and I screamed. And screamed and screamed and screamed - I'm still surprised my dad didn't come out of the house with a shotgun. The three guys turned out to be Chris and two of his buddies, who had seen me go into Monica's house earlier and were lying in wait for me.

After I quit screaming, I ended up standing on the road talking to them for over an hour. Two days later, he called me at home to "ask me out", which I wrote about here (#19), and that was that :)

For Sid

This is what Sid requested:
"I'd like to hear about a breakup. The one that sticks out the most in your head. Why you broke up, who did the dumping, how you recovered, how it has altered your life etc"

Ooh, this is hard to answer. Particularly because my very first "official" boyfriend was the man I ended up marrying.

We did break up here and there along our relationship, but always ended up back together. Hmm, well actually, one breakup does stick out in my mind...

Alright - so every time Chris and I broke up, it was always my fault. I had this crazy love of pursuit, but then once I would get what I wanted, I would lose interest. Such is my Gemini curse - the thrill is in the chase.

Anyways, so every time we would get back together, some time would go by, then I would begin to lose interest, or I would think some other guy was cute, or blah blah blah, there was always some stupid reason. I remember when he called me to wish me a Happy 18th Birthday - I think he was out of town for something - and I told him I wanted to break up. I hadn't thought about it for one second before the words came out of my mouth, but there they were "I think we should break up," before I even knew I was thinking them. That's the kind of dedication I had to things.

After THAT breakup we got back together again, and that fall I left for college. Thousands of miles away from him and everyone else I knew. One day we were on the phone and he was acting weird, so I asked him what was up, and HE dumped ME. I can't even remember what he said, but I know that I was in shock, he had never dumped me before. (And I absolutely don't mean that to sound callous - I was young and stupid, that's all).

I remember getting off the phone with him. Going and telling my roommates he had broken up with me, smoking about half a pack of cigarettes, getting drunk off my ass at the bar, waking up the next morning and THEN realizing what had really happened. And I lost it.

And that's when I realized that I had been an idiot every other time I had broken up with him. I realized that I wanted him in my life forever, but thought that I had blown it for good.

About 5 days later he called me. He apologized for breaking up with me, and confessed that he had wanted me to know what it was like to be dumped, so that was why he had done it. Oh, and he had went out on a date with a girl named Carla one night. (Never in my life will I forget that girl's name, and never in my life will I not hate her. If I ever run into her I'll probably resort to physical violence.) He said that he realized when he was saying goodnight to her after their date that he wanted to be with me.

And the rest, shall we say, is history.


*Reading this back to myself now, I can't help but laugh - such drama!

For Rock Chef

This is part of the list Rock Chef came up with for things for me to blog about while I'm in Calgary - so without further ado...

More silly little stories about going to the wrong job and stuff like that?
Will address this at a later date - waaaay too many silly stories in my memory bank.

The first thing you can remember from when you were a child?
I'm actually going to answer this one once I've had a chance to get back to Ontario first, I've got photos of the first thing I can remember :)

Your weirdest neighbour?
My weirdest neighbour was at the last place we lived, in a funky little neighbourhood called Wolseley. It is chock full of big beautiful houses, most of which have been turned into apartments, and the area is overflowing with hippie types. It was actually a great place to live.
Anyways, the house we lived in had 4 apartments, one of which was literally one room, and it was about 12x16 feet. It had a homemade bunkbed in it, under which there was a couch, then there was a fridge and the tiniest stove known to man on the other wall, and they had to use the bathroom in the scary basement.
And two people lived there. A husband and wife. They were 60 year old chain-smokers, and were some of the strangest people I have ever met. The wife's name was Vi, and I can't remember the husband's name - probably because Chris and I referred to him as Crazy Eyes.
He was the cliche crazy old war vet; long grey hair in a ponytail, dirty camo cargo pants, dirty t-shirt, dirty hanky hanging out of a random pocket, old scuffed work boots, and a bandana around his head. He reminded me of Tommy Chong, from Cheech and Chong. Oh, and he'd never been to war.
He was a pervert of the worst kind. Our bedroom was directly above their one bedroom "luxury suite", and after Chris and I would, um, partake in physical love (hahahahahaha) he would actually comment to me about it when I would see him. He'd say things like "You are a damn wildcat in bed, aren'tcha girl?"
Yeah, I should have punched the psycho in the head MANY a time. But like I said, we called him Crazy Eyes, and it was for a reason. The man was loony tunes.

Something that you had the chance to do but didn't and now regret?
When Monica (the Bahama Mama) and I were 17, we found this program where you could travel to Europe and live with a family for 6 months. The organization that sent you would find you a job doing some kind of easy-ish job like being a waitress or secretary, and after paying the family, you got to pocket anything else.
We decided that before we settled down, we would do this together, living in the same town, and having our last hurrah before we had to really grow up. We would talk about it for hours - over how much fun we would have, the people we would meet, how we'd make great friends there, then travel back to see them every couple of years.
But then I got accepted into my journalism program, and the husband and I got engaged, and I moved thousands of miles away to go to school, and the plan went to hell.
It's not that I'm unhappy with my life now, in fact just the opposite, but I think about that plan often, especially since I only see Monica twice a year now, and wished desperately that I could go back in time and do it.